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| My Mom Is Tearing Me Apart |
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| on Wednesday, November 15, 2006 - 12:48 AM EST - 1426 Reads |
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 I hope this is not too long, but a lot has happened in the last yr or so.
I am 17 years old. i have a 15 yr, 9 yr, and 7 month old sisters. Along with a 2 year old brother. About 3 months ago i found out my mom has been smoking crack. For a long time(abt 2 years) we all just thought she had a little bit of a cocaine problem, but we were wrong. At first(about 3 1/2) years ago it started out that way, but for abt 6-8 months now she has been going on these binges for abt 2-4 days. I have lived with my mom for my entire life, but just recently/ around June i moved in with my dad...leaving my 3 sisters and brother behind. I couldn't deal with her selfishness and how she was so inconsiderate of others any more. I had to make that decision for myself.
Yes my life is much harder now bc my mom always took care of me and i didn't have to have a job, but now i go to school and work 2 jobs and abt every week or 2 i have the youngest 2 of her kids to look after for a few days while she goes on one of her binges. But i will still never move back in with her if this continues. Its so hard for me to be the big grl and stay strong for everyone when i feel like my whole life is falling to pieces..Everyone tells me not to let it stress me out bc there is nothing i can do, but its not that easy and i'm sure some of u can relate to that. You can't just let yourself give up.
I have drove an hour an a half away to find my mom in the middle of the night and sat outside of the house she was in begging her friend on the phone to tell her to come out but she just kept telling me my mom wasn't there, but my mom's car was clearly parked in her driveway?? I have threatened to call the cops a million times and someone has already contacted department of child services. I have followed my mom around from 8:15 pm to 7:45 am trying to get her to come home. But she def had one up on me considering by almost 8 i was falling asleep and was starving but those thoughts didn't even cross her mind bc she was too busy hitting her pipe while her daughter followed her all around tennessee. i didn't see her for 3 more days after that morning. I don't know what is left to do...I'm so miserable. I miss my mom! i see her almost everyday, but i still have this longing for her at night when i lay in my bed.
My mom is not wht i would consider your "avg. crack head" She is a very successful business women. She has nice things and has always givin us everything she has to give. Growing up i had a GREAT mom, she is not the same person anymore. She got caught up in the wrong people and wrong lifestyle. Now she won't give any of that up! My x-step dad is abt to take temp. custody way from her for my 9 yr old sister and my aunt(which ownes a business with my mom) is abt to take all my mom's authority away as far as the business is concerned until she gets clean. I want her to want to get help. She always says she is gonna stop and she doesn't want to do it anymore but eventually she always goes back to it!
I have had more trouble lately than ever dealing with this bc i feel like everyone has givin up on her but me. I feel like i am fighting a loosing battle. I don't know where i would be if it wasn't for my best friend. She has pulled me through this and has been 100% honest with me the whole way. Me and her are going to a teen-allenon meating for the first time tonight. I hope they can give me some tips on how do deal with the situation better. Thanks to everyone who reads my story and good luck to all!
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| My Mom Is Tearing Me Apart | Login/Create an account | 5 Comments |
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Re: My Mom Is Tearing Me Apart by lilbubba49 
(Score: 1) on Nov 15, 2006 - 03:30 PM
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Sweetie,Your mom is the only one that can do anything about her problem.My heart goes out to you,but you have to look after yourself and being the oldest do what you can to make life a little better for your sisters and brother.It is good if your step dad takes one of the girls but what about the little ones.A friend of mine years ago had the same situation,only it was booze and she was left to look after her little brother and sister when her mother went on binges for days.Well she walked away leaving the little ones to deal with it all..To this day her youngest sister holds so much anger toward her for not taking her with her when she left the home.I am not trying to put this all on your shoulders.Im just saying is there anyone that can take the little ones until she gets treatment or if your all not in the home anymore it might open her eyes to what shes losing.It is good that your aunt is taking action to protect the bussness.It is also a blessing that you have a good friend that you can go to for support.The meetings are also a step in the right direction as they will help you deal with this situation..You sound like you really got a good head on your shoulders maybe sit your mom down for a one on one when shes sright and tell her how this is affecting you and the little ones.Tell her if she does not get help you will have no choice but to make sure that the little ones are taken to a safe place as you yourself are just a young girl and the only thing you should be worring about right now is school and what to weir on your next date.Tell her you love and miss her and want your mom back.Let her know how you feel about how she is destroying her life and yours and the little ones.I will you all the best and if you ever need a ear to liston you can send me a private message here,lilbubba49.
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Re: My Mom Is Tearing Me Apart by aBrokenDaughter
(Score: 1) on Nov 16, 2006 - 09:51 PM
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I've tried all of that..I don't know what is left to do. I've tried to threaten her with calling dcs, the cops, her dad. We have had many talks abt what is goin on. Matter of fact me, my xstep dad, and my aunt are suppose to go over there tonight after i get off work to talk to her. None of it ever works. All i know left to do is call the cops next time she goes on one of her binges, but what if she goes to jail??? She's my mom..I can't do that. My aunt and i have offered tot ake care of the kids if she went to rehab but she still won't go! She won't even admit that she is an addict. I just don't know what else to do. I feel like if i push too hard then i'm just pushing her towards another binge, but if i just leave it alone i'm showing her it is ok to do it. I just wish i knew what to do for her.
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Re: My Mom Is Tearing Me Apart by lilbubba49
(Score: 1) on Nov 17, 2006 - 12:14 PM
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The thing is there is nothing you can do for her except give her your support if and when she addmits she has a problem and decides to get help.It will be only a matter of time before the protective childrens services step in if she is not living up to her responabilites where the children are concerned.All I can tell you is to look after yourself and if you feel the younger ones are not being taken care of proberly,than you must make the decision weather to do something to protect them.Maybe it would be a good thing if you did phone the cops they might force her in to rehap and she will have no choice but to go.Remember you are doing this out of love and concern for her as well as your younger sisters and brother.It is sad that a young girl has to have such a big responabilty put on her,but you are the voice for the little ones and they prob.depend on you and your aunt for some stable home life.I wish you all the luck and keep me posted as to how the talk when and how your doing.
Hugs
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Re: My Mom Is Tearing Me Apart by AnaE
(Score: 1) on Mar 24, 2007 - 06:58 AM
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Hi ..IM sorry about everything
I think next time you have to bee serious when u say u will call cops and i think you should be seriously serious ...If i had someone do that ... i wouldnt be thinkin now about suicide ..
I bet that youll rather see you mom in prison than under ground this sounds cruel but its reality
Your mom is addict she loves you but now she loves crack more than anyone
I was not regular crac addict .. crac head .. i do have great job ... i do have nice stuff ... i look hot ...
i look happy to other people but deep inside .. i just wanna kill myself
I wish someone new .. im afrid of it ...
i wish someone can help me but noone knows....(who can help me )
i dont wanna come out .. its a shame in family ...
Look i have mom ... ill rather kill her than let her alone in misery and dark where drug is #1
Im not saying you shhould kiill your mom Im just beging you To call cops call friends ... family ... anything just dont let her go ..
Love kisses and hugs and wish best you and yor family
:))
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Re: My Mom Is Tearing Me Apart by phanomanom
(Score: 1) on Dec 12, 2007 - 01:19 PM
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