I'm a user been using for 20 years for the most part it's been once or twice a year, with intermittent heavier use. Problem use! I've had to go away from my family for work. It was almost 2 years. And now I've returned home. I've used 5 times in since Jan. Wife has divorce papers. She behaves as if my use is done to hurt her. I'm not doing it to her. Can someone please explain how this comes about
Should this question be addressed to your wife? I don't know all details; however, I believe you had the conversation with your wife before. I assume she had some requirements that should be filled. I assume you failed to fulfill that requirements. Ask your wife if she agree to postpone the divorce process if you are promise (and keep your promise) to stay out of cocaine and both of you will see a family therapist.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
It is very difficult for a loved one of an addict to understand that although your addiction and the issues that surround your addiction has little to do with them, and everything to do with your addiction.
As well it is easy to take personally the breakdown of the relationship, due to continued used of the addicted. Keep in mind that your choices and actions most certainly do effect her future as well.
Your wife is simply exercising her right in choosing NOT to accept your addiction as a part of her life.
Talk to your wife, and be prepared to follow through with the promises that you intend to make to be allowed another opportunity to salvage your relationship. Consider that you will not only be working to save your relationship, but yourself from much pain and heart ache in your future as well.
Be sure to check out the resourses available to you locally for additional support and information on addiction, as well as professional services to help you and your wife gain a better perspective of how your are both effected as a couple.
At any rate be prepared to step to the plate and address the adversities that addiction is creating in your life. Remember that actions speak louder then words ... and that your willingness is crucial to reaching sobriety.
Stick with this site, and keep reading ...
Good Luck !
Wishing you Strength and Peace,
Michelle
_________________ Positives create better results then Negatives
I'm more serious now than I've ever been. But I've been pretty serious in the past. I've made promises and broke them. Not blatantly but broken just the same. The longest I've ever stayed clean is? (2) yrs. But heavier use never lasted longer than a couple of months or so. I'm not faced with any physical withdraws or overwhelming temptations. But have repeated the same mistakes over and over, knowing full well I was headed in the wrong direction. I wish I'd get support instead of divorce papers and an A55 Kicking. From my perspective things never got that terrible. Well maybe just breifly many yrs ago. Does anything I say make sense? I not high no gonna get high. Do my statements ring of Denial???
Well she's only threatened the D like 5000 times. So it's hard to take that one seriously. But She wont hold out forever. I don't like to see her hurting / angry. She's got enough problems of her own. She do well to not take mine on.
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