Cocaine substituting my alcohol addiction

ssm2008 · Newbie

WIth out going on and on, I will try to summarize.. my mother is an alcoholic, father's side has it too. I grew up exposed to AA, ect. When I was 16 I began drinking. Immediately I had issues with it. Hangovers, blacking out, and putting myself in dangerous situations. I tried coke at 18. I dabbled here and there for years. My use was not regular.

Around 10 months ago I went through some really bad times with an ex-boyfriend. I drank, did coke, prescriptions drugs, didn't go into work for a week, and tried killing myself. Given that, my dad was concerned and made me see a doctor (shrink). Her reaction was to address my drinking problem and suggested giving me a shot to curb the alcohol cravings (although I didn't have them, I just drank on weekends to the point of passing out). The thought of shot, scared me.. so I stopped seeing and I thought I would deal with things my way, which were wrong. Instead of drinking, I started doing coke very very regularly, which for some reason curbed my drinking. I'm now to the point where I've done it every day for the last month and go to work high as he|l. My first thoughts in the morning are coke (if I get to sleep) and my last ones are too. I have increased my smoking too from two cigarettes a day to a pack a day. I'm so ashamed of myself and so lost, I stopped caring. I don't care what happens to me and I don't see a way out. I do care in the back of my head, but that voice is getting weaker and weaker. I'm 30, single, living in NYC, trying to keep it together with a job and expenses. It might just be easier to fade out. The thought is scary but soothing that there may be a near end. Please help soon.

scooter7975 · Newbie

I'm an addict trying to change my life for the better. I don't have any advice except not to lie to yourself. You'll never be able to put it down and walk away from it until YOU WANT TO! Keep your head up and find someone you can confide in. Don't hold back. You've taken an important first step to come out and admit you have a problem. You're already ahead. PM me if you want to talk. I'll listen.

John Wink

rick_h · 12 step Recruit

I'd love to help - but your the one that need to do that part. None of us here have miracle cures or solutions. I have been where you are at and gotten worse. But where you are at doesn't matter - just where you want to go and if your willing to fight for a better life. I too was a heavy alcohol user and coke took away my desire to drink. But coke consumed me in a way I never thought possible. The good news is this can all be changed - the key is getting out there and finding help then doing what is suggested.

AA, NA work for me - whether or not it is something you'd condiser is your choice. That last word is the key this is all about choices and I wish you the best in making yours!

Admin · Site Admin

As long as you see an alcohol or drug the way to dealing with your problems : you are in trouble. It never helps anybody. Contrary, many found themselves in ditch.

Quote:

I'm so ashamed of myself

Why ? Because are you doing cocaine or because are you doing nothing about it?