My son is an addict

justmom · Newbie

My son is in jail on a drug abuse charge of crack. This is a first offense, but we are all working together to get him well, which means he is staying in jail until his next court appearance. The lawyers, prosecuter, and judge are all telling me this is his best chance to come clean, and since they deal with it daily I believe them even though it is breaking my heart.

The crack addiction is somewhat new, but he's been into other drugs for about 3 years: alcohol, meth, and vicodin- those are what I know for sure.

I would like someone who has been clean for a while to tell me exactly what to do with him when I get him home. He's still young at 20, and I'm hoping to make the absolute best decisions where he is concerned.

He will have no car, no money, no cell phone, and will be moved about 2 hours away from all of his friends and dealers. None of these people have my phone number. He will be in rehab, and will get a job. I have really researched this, but need to know what else, if anything else, I can do to keep him from completely ruining his life or going to prison.

Admin · Site Admin

There are some treatment programs available in prison. You can acquire this information from prison officials. While in prison your son can attend this program. The most important role in one's recovery is that one desire to start new, healthy way of life. So, your son should be the one who want to be clean, without his willingness, the chances of success are slim. You can't be his 24/7 protector.
Regards,

pause4poetry · Moderator

Dear Justmom,

Gene is right, the desire at a fresh start and a new way of life through recovery has to be his.

I do want to commend you though on your decision to leave him in the system until his pending court date. I know this is difficult for you, however this may give him the time that he needs to realize the consequences of the path that he has chosen.

I hope that you will continue to frequent this site as a learning tool and a source of support for yourself.

Wishing you strength and peace....

Kelly · Resident

Justmom,
I am a recovering addict and I became an addict at the age of 13. As Gene and Michelle have said he must be willing. It wouldn't matter if you moved him to Alaska if he wanted to use he would. We as addicts are good at seeking it out. I do think leaving him in jail is good. He is on some hard stuff to get off of. I would say the longer he stays in a inpatient treatment program the better. Also making sure he has no money, transportation, or contact is a very good thing. If he has friends he don't need money or a car. Remember that although your son is young this is not on you if he relapses. Sometimes it takes a very long time to not want meth or crack. Sometimes we do anything and I mean anything to get the drugs. Don't be shocked at what may lie ahead and it may get worse before it gets better. Don't stop loving him and don't give up on him. He needs you. Surround him with as much love and support as possible but as you are doing now it at times may need to be tough love.
I wish you strength and peace. This is not an easy road for anyone involved that you are about to travel.
Best wishes to you and yours.