Hey, y'all...
I'm getting close to my one month "anniversary" of being clean. Yeah, I've been here years before and nothing is saying I can stay clean, but I'm trying like he|l.
I thought it might be useful to myself and others to share little 'benefits' about being sober. I know this may sound weird, but it's slowly dawning on me about the little benefits of stopping usage.
-You can't remember the last time you felt that shattered feeling - that inner 'imbalance' and tiredness from a night of partying...the one that stayed with you and you couldn't really sleep off in one session
-Someone asks where you were this weekend - AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE UP AN INSTANT LIE! YAY!
-You don't have to check your face before going outside to see if there are those little blood vessels showing around your nostrils
-Your boyfriend can't locate you on your cell and FOR THE FIRST TIME he trusts that you didn't go see your dealer - you were just out shopping with the cell off. You didn't have to lie and you see that he believes you!
When I think about these benefits, I get excited and happy knowing I'm doing something good for myself. So, don't beat yourself up! Focus on the good you're doing in your own life. You are beating, slowly, a powerful addiction that took years to develop.
Also, to all of you out there suffering with addiction or with a loved one who's addicted, I wish you the best. People like me want to help you and there are tons of them on this site. I've read so many great posts here: people bravely confronting their realities and patient, loving people trying to help them - everyone who writes here is A HERO. And, everyone who decides not to use when their mind and body is aching for it...is a hero as well.
Good for you on your one month comming forth.I just want to share a little info with you.I dont want to put a damper on your happeness.I to am fighting addiction.I just want you to be awair also of being too happy as that is always when i seam to fall back thinking im ok now.Over the years that I have been fighting this I have tried to stay away from it several times.The first time I went almost 3 months,than it was 50 days and 28 days this last time I made it 18 days.I will get myself so up that I seam to forget what the down felt like.Somehow in this addict brain I think im cured so I can dabble,NOT.I am very happy for you but please remember that shattered feeling,that inner imbalence and tiredness from a night of partying the one that you speak of.You are well on your way and I wish you all the best and I hope that you never have to start day one again.Keep thinking about the trust your earning back and the feelings of excitment you speak of.Your right it is a good feeling when your doing something good for yourself.Good luck and stay strong.
Congratulations!!! Stay strong!! You are well on your way!! Do take lilbubba's words to heart. What lilbubba speaks of is part of a cycle of abuse in which denial can be quick to resurface and send you spinning, unless the abuser is willing/able to see what is going on, and stop it before the next action. This site is a blessing. Use it. The minute you start feeling down, or think of using again. Tell someone. There are many people on this site who are willing to help you get through it and pump you up. There are many of us who have loved ones who are addicted, who are trying to understand how to be supportive without getting angry and getting caught up in a crazy roller coaster ride. I'm glad you have regained the trust of your loved one. Stay strong and remember how you earned it. Awareness of the cycle of abuse for both of you can help both of you when intervention is necessary. I hope you will never need it and you are able to continue your winning streak. Stay strong, and know that help is all around you if you look for it. You have taken great first steps. Keep it up!
Topic moved to >Recovery Forum >> Stories of Recovery.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
When I first read you post, I was hoping that Gene would move your topic to Recovery I agree that sharing the "gifts" of being sober should be encouraged here and I thank you for your insite to that need !!!
I am proud for you in that you are finding rewarding treasures along your road to recovery and I am sure that as you progress there are many more that may unfold before you to behold.
Diane, lilbubba makes a contructive point, but if you continue to think of your recovery on the terms of a new beginning and the rewarding feelings that embrace you along your journey you have much to look forward to in your sobriety. Losing site of the things that we can at times take for granted and losing those things, TRUST being one and HONESTY being another of those treasures can sometimes give them greater meaning and appreciation when we finally realize what an impact having them truly means to us.
I look forward to the post that will follow here as I know they will be an inspiration for so many of us that wish to share in the rewards of recovery!
Wishing you continued Strength and Peace .....
_________________ Positives create better results then Negatives