There is something to be said of those who have the strength to entrust their lives completely to Lord and to have such a steadfast faith. I for one, wish that I could overcome my desire to be in control of my life and place myself completely at Lord'S mercy. I admire you for your abilities and courage to do so. Miracles really do happen everyday, I just think most of us are too blind and too wrapped up in ourselves to see them.
So now you know what at least one person here thinks. Peace, love and strength to you.
There is something to be said of those who have the strength to entrust their lives completely to Lord and to have such a steadfast faith. I for one, wish that I could overcome my desire to be in control of my life and place myself completely at Lord'S mercy. I admire you for your abilities and courage to do so.
Strength? Courage? Ability to Give Up Control?
For me it was more desperation. What else could I do? There was nothing else I could do? I was defeated. I still try to control my life. I still try to control all kinds of things despite myself. And it exhausts me. Trusting is hard, and yet it isn't. Having faith is so hard when we are fighting it, once we stop fighting it is easy.
I think many things in life are like this. Change is hard until we just do it. Once we do it...not so hard.
I'm sorry I made you cry again. I seem to be pretty good at it...but I hope the tears relieve your stress. Do you think it is just random coincidence that I am going home next week? That you live in my home state? That we have connected so much on this site? That we have similar people in our lives in similar circumstances at similar times? It is not random.
I will see you when I'm home. Maybe Lynn could send us a tub of Blue Moon Ice Cream. Yum.
When I say harsh I am saying in response not to me specifically but in general about this what you said to Lucy because I can say it hits home with me. Here is the quote and I will tell you why I say it is harsh but was critical to my own issues that surrond me at this time for me to come to some realizations.
Quote:
You've been trying so hard to *pull him out*,
which you couldn't anyway...
and, in the process,
you ended up walking in with him instead.
Definately, I feel that one why does it hurt to think that? bECAUSE I been trying so hard to help HER and the truth was I couldn't I know you were telling Lucy but much of what you written whether you realize or not was hard pressed to me as something I needed to realize. I am helpless in a sense and just because I try so hard means little (not in no way intended for others to misunderstand)in regards to my circumstance, will I quit trying no but I will remember that prayer and have posted something I feel you are saying by let go and let Lord.
Lcy I posted this here and maybe you can use these words too. I also have to say Jenni you are truly a blessing and those words have meaning for me too.
Lord grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3, 5-6
Will I stop trying never I need to help in ways that I can. Some people are stuck right where they want to be until something wrong happens such as jail or prison. I guess I been feeling so tired from trying to guide her in the right direction and those words and my actions were not headed. It is a tough one to realize.
Quote:
Help me understand more of what you are saying here because I found that my sister felt I was being unfair in wanting her to just quit and that was the promblem I wanted. She said she needed but again never could answer the want part. Here is what you wrote that left me confuse because all in all I started setting the alarm and she could not open the door to leave at night, I put many rules on her but I had no choice or control of her continued actions the only thing I did control was that she could no longer stay here.
keepitreal wrote:
The more you restrict him,
the more his mind starts scheming
and the better he gets at it, I might add.
You don't want him
to actually fear either you or your husband...
It's hard, very hard Lucy,
to walk the line of help and support,
yet avoid being duped,deceived and enabling.
I think confining him and restricting him,
is a bad idea and makes it worse.
It won't make him stop using,
but, it will become a factor
for him to stop being open with yous anymore.
The best thing we can do for our kids,
is to allow them the reality of,
consequences and accountability.
What you said made sense the more you restrict the more the scheming that happens......trying to get more out of you on this perspective of yours because why?
I am trying to prepare and correct any thing that I may have done wrong and learn other approaches for the future. How do you set consequence if there are no restrictions and rules that were broke to begin with, I am quite interested in trying something more helpul in the future. (Lord willing)
I know this sounds like a lot to take in sorry I been writting so much I too have seen signs of Lord's presence working in my life and Jenni is so right the first thing to do is start talking to him again asking him in. Faith is something so precious and Lord loves us. For me trusting is hard to because I want things done my way and right away but patiece and trust truly comes about when you believe in him and that is why I say I need Jesus. I need his stregnth cause he knows that as long as the devil tries to ruin lives and take my love and relationship with Jesus away my life will be miserable with no hope of peace.
Thanks Jenni, Lucy and Lynn you all are a blessing I will keep praying for each of you and I have a lot of reading to do on other members to see how they have been and will be talking soon.
I just think you are not willing to chance losing,
who G0D may remove from your life.
perhaps you are correct in saying this; but it goes much deeper than that.... i have always had to rely on myself to make it through whatever life threw my way; noone has ever really been there to offer their support; judgement and criticism; yes, plenty of that to go around, (not referring to anyone here) so it is very difficult for me to surrender myself to a mystical force and have someone else direct and control things for me.
i truly do admire those who can do this and see this as something which i need to work on within myself.
noone has ever really been there to offer their support
Is this true? Look again? G0D does not always work the way we think. Support is not necessarily support in the sense that we think of it. Perhaps it someone pushing us in a direction we need to go. Perhaps the experience of this is awful, difficult...and it feels like we have to rely on ourselves. Perhaps that is part of the lesson.
Never would I have thought that way about the experience of being raped 20 years ago. Now I work with victims. Another coincidence...another random thing? I did not really even seek out the job I have now. Didn't put too much effort into it. Didn't apply because I'm passionate about victims. But having that experience helps me help others. That is how G0D works in our lives. That is how Lynn and Freedom and Bill and Bill and John and so many others on this site have helped me. They lived the experience that I needed to know about. They offered their support through sharing their experience. G0D works through us and those in our lives.
I just think you are not willing to chance losing,
who G0D may remove from your life.
perhaps you are correct in saying this; but it goes much deeper than that.... i have always had to rely on myself to make it through whatever life threw my way; noone has ever really been there to offer their support; judgement and criticism; yes, plenty of that to go around, (not referring to anyone here) so it is very difficult for me to surrender myself to a mystical force and have someone else direct and control things for me.
i truly do admire those who can do this and see this as something which i need to work on within myself.
Excuse me!
Mystical force.
First of all, G0D does not control us, He directs us.
When we live(walk) according to His Word,
we are surrendering ourselves.
Having faith is nothing more then having trust.
How to behave, how to handle those things beyond our control
and trusting, believing He will fulfill His promises for doing so.
He will be faithful to make good on His promises,
For those who live by faith and for those who don't.
Do not believe for a second, should that explanation remain
that will be a good enough excuse on Judgment Day.
You didn't have to rely on yourself then,
and you don't need to now....
You choose to.
Peace & Love
Lynn
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
Perhaps (my new favorite word) Perhaps it is more comfortable to ease into faith. For most people finding their faith is a process. An ongoing process in which faith is frequently tested.
If it is the "HE" the "mystical force" that is hard to grasp onto...then learning to trust and just see, is a step toward letting go. Some of that is acceptance that things are often beyond our control, and our stressing over it, serves to do nothing, except stress us and the people around us more. You can think of it as a positive or optimistic attitude. Trusting and coming to believe that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. Note the phrase supposed to vs. the phrase "the way I want it to".
My mom nearly drove me away. She was pushy. She was afraid for me. She wanted desperately for me to find G0D. I of course had other plans. She was afraid and told me I was going to burn in the lake of fire for all eternity. Nice Mom! From her perspective true. All the talking and the pushing, served to push me away from her and from G0D. When she let go, though it took many years, and circumstances noone in my life would have imagined, I've come to find my faith, on my own. It came to me the way it was supposed to.
So, I think that is what I have come to. I believe that things will work out the way they are supposed to. I believe in my b/f. I believe when the time is right, he will do what he needs to do, and he will be crack and alcohol free. I believe he will have a wonderful life. I believe that if I'm supposed to be part of that, I will be. How many times did I think about walking away. How many times was I so tired and ready to give up. Every single time, something happened, something...some little spark of hope...something that said don't walk away...he needs a friend. Everything is uncertain. I have no idea what is going to happen. Whatever it is. I will be fine.
I guess the thing that is hard to explain is that I really didn't pray before I met him. Almost immediately after I met him...before I knew about his addiction. I started praying. Thanking Christ? I wasn't ready to go there. Thanks to the creator....the universe...that felt better....but thanks for the blessings in my life. Little blessings. My Cat, my job, my friends, my family, this man, my apartment, a car that works. I am so fortunate. You have that faith Joanne, I've seen it, in what you write. You have that gratitude. Your situation has been difficult, which makes it harder to trust, but I know you are thankful for the blessings in your life. Your boys. The support you feel from your boyfriend. The natural wonders around you. There is peace for you in these blessings. Simple things that bring you joy despite the turmoil.
I feel like I've gotten lost here....but perhaps that is the road I've been on. I am lost. I have learned from the people in my life. I accepted the prayers of others. Still when prayers are said for me, I cry. It is painful, I feel myself fighting, and feel touched. I question...why am I worth so much love and caring and praying for...but... I am grateful for the gifts I have. I am looking for the lesson. I embrace the process. And that is faith. That is G0D working in my life.
what i meant by this, is a power that is invisible to us, but definitely there. i wasn't being sarcastic or disrespectful in any way. perhaps (there's that word again) i'm not able to express my feelings in a concise manner; really what i was simply trying to say is that i admire those who can put their lives into the Lord's hands completely and trust that everything will be ok. i am not able to do so at this time. i struggle and fight to try and make things right myself. that was all i was getting at. so yes; Jenni and Lynn, i DO admire your faith and your strength in your belief!!
hopefully, i have been able to express what i mean and how i feel this time.
Jenni; i do see the little blessings in life and i am very fortunate. like i have said before; i have two wonderful boys, i have a roof over my head, i have a vehicle to get us where we need to go, we have food on the table, i have this site where i do get plenty of support from, i do have someone to share my hopes and dreams with, and i do have hope that my b/f will one day get tired of his current lifestyle and make a real effort at working on his sobriety. i just don't feel that my trust and faith in the Lord and his plan for me is as strong and prominent as it should be -- if that makes any sense at all.
what i meant by this, is a power that is invisible to us, but definitely there. i wasn't being sarcastic or disrespectful in any way. perhaps (there's that word again) i'm not able to express my feelings in a concise manner; really what i was simply trying to say is that i admire those who can put their lives into the Lord's hands completely and trust that everything will be ok. i am not able to do so at this time. i struggle and fight to try and make things right myself. that was all i was getting at. so yes; Jenni and Lynn, i DO admire your faith and your strength in your belief!!
hopefully, i have been able to express what i mean and how i feel this time.
Joanne, I think you expressed yourself just fine the first time. I'm sorry if you have felt your statements were not understood. I hope I have not come off as being pushy. I hate that. Maybe I was more directive with Lucy, since she asked the question about how to utilize her faith....What I was trying to explain was the process that I have gone through to come to this point....and to point out to you that you do have faith. Perhaps you are not recognizing it, perhaps you do not see it the same way that I do.
I had faith long before, I admitted that it was Lord working in my life. Now as I look back it just seems to me that there is too much coincidence to actually be a coincidence. Now I see it as part of some larger plan especially for me. Now that I view it that way, when new things happen, or new people come into my life, I find myself seeing it as missing piece of the puzzle. I'm not saying I see the whole picture and that I'm not trying to control every little thing. You would laugh your arse off if you could see how anal retentive I am. It is a curse and blessing at once. Letting Go...not so easy....but I have been finding it easier to let go of the bigger things...if only I could learn not to sweat the small things. I know if I let go of the smaller things...I would be happier and get more done...but I'm not there yet. It's a process. I'm not perfect, but I sure want to be.
Hope I haven't been pushy....that would really mess with my desire to be perfect
thanx for your kind words as always. you are far from being pushy. i am going to take this back to my thread to further express my confusion as to what faith is to me and how faith should manifest itself (in my life, in my humble opinon, that is). it isn't that i have thought that i was misunderstood; i think it's further evidence of the confusion i feel within myself as to the nature of faith -- this may be why i feel that i am not expressing my thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely -- because they are all jumbled up inside my heart and mind.
thank-you for your prayers, and Lynn's as well. they are working, of that you can be certain! your friend,
Joanne
~The very fact that you are going through a difficult time
may be the greatest indication that G0D is at work in your life~
The message of the Bible is one of help for the hurting.
In it's pages are the greatest resources in all the world.
These timeless truths have stood the test of endurance,
generation after generation.
Instead of new theories and experimental attempts,
the Bible offers solid advice based upon,
the inspired truths of the Word of G0D.
These truths tell us that G0D alone,
can and will help us deal with our problems.
While we experience the blessings of G0D in our daily lives,
life is not with out its difficulties, challenges, and struggles.
The Bible reminds us that G0D comforts us in our troubles,
not necessarily from our troubles(2 Corinthians 1:4)
In fact, suffering and trouble are His methods,
of shaping our lives and our character.
In some cases, G0D may use the worst of circumstances,
to accomplish the best of results for our own good.
The Bible reminds us that G0D is greater than our problems.
Since He rules the universe, He can overrule,
every circumstance of life for our own good.
Romans 8:28 reminds us, "We know that in all things,
G0D works for the good of those who love Him,
who have been called according to His purpose."
[applying this to Mark,
it is an introduction of the basis,
of where this is leading to and how it applies to you]
In our human weakness, we want to run from problems,
while G0D wants to use those problems for our own good.
The very fact that you are going through a difficult time,
may be the greatest indication that G0D is at work in your life.
Rarely do we learn the deep lessons of life,
when everything is going well.
The real learning comes when everything goes wrong!
That's when G0D usually gets our attention.
When the bottom falls out of our life and there is nowhere else to turn,
we will find ourselves instinctively calling on G0D for help.
There is something basic to human nature,
that drives us to G0D when we come to the end of ourselves.
Even unbelievers will cry, "G0D help me!" when faced with a crisis.
~~Taking the First Step~~
How we handle our problems is the key to overcoming them.
Our reactions will determine whether our problems,
become opportunities for personal growth,
or the means of spiritual and emotional defeat.
Learning how to handle life's problems with the right heart attitude,
is the first step in overcoming them.
Wrong attitudes express our inner frustration with life,
and our bitterness toward G0D for allowing problems,
to come into our lives in the first place.
They are symptoms of our refusal to believe,
that G0D is really in control of our lives.
Ultimately, wrong attitudes push us away from G0D,
instead of drawing us to Him.
~~Trusting G0D to Help Us~~
The key to handling our problems is learning to,
trust what G0D tells us to do about them.
Too many people want to make their own decisions,
and then ask G0D to "bless" what they have already decided.
Instead, we need to figure out what G0D wants us to do,
and do it with the confidence that He will bless it.
Our obedience to His commands places us in a position,
to receive His blessings in our lives.
Our willingness to trust G0D in every circumstance of life,
depends on our confidence in His love.
All uncertainty on our part,
is an expression of distrust in His love.
It is a basic rejection of G0D's character and nature.
When we fail to trust Him with our problems,
we are really distrusting His sincerity and integrity.
Because He truly is an all-loving G0D, with our best interests in mind,
we must learn to trust His love for us in spite of our circumstances.
~~Finding His Purpose in It All~~
Whether we fully understand it or not,
G0D is sovereign over the events in our lives.
No matter how bad the crisis may appear to be,
it is never beyond His ability to resolve it.
Every crisis in our lives,
is part of G0D's sovereign purpose for us.
We may not understand that purpose,
while we are going through the struggle,
but we will eventually see,
how the circumstances was for our benefit.
G0D is the most basic, vital, and hopeful person in our lives.
He alone is fully equipped to meet our needs,
shape our lives, and get us through our problems.
It is crucial for G0D to restructure the entire picture,
as one in which He is at work achieving His purposes.
By relating G0D fully to the crisis,
it becomes a crisis in which G0D is involved.
~~Making the Commitment~~
The biblical concept of faith,
is that of a deep personal commitment,
that leads to a step of action on our part.
The Bible never defines faith as mere intellectual assent.
Nowhere in Scripture do we find,
people merely giving G0D an affirming nod.
Real faith involves a total commitment of one's self to G0D.
It's amazing how people will trust G0D to forgive their sins,
give them eternal life and a home in heaven,
but they will not trust Him,
to help them with their problems here and now!
Halfhearted commitments will not help you solve your problems.
Either G0D can help you or He can't.
Either you trust Him or you don't.
It is that simple.
Most of us try to complicate matters by assuming,
the solutions to our problems have to be more complex.
But Jesus simply said, "Come to me,
all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls"(Matthew 11:28-29)
Faith is not a blind leap into the dark.
Faith is believing the principles of G0D's Word,
and ordering our lives accordingly.
G0D tells us how to live successfully.
He doesn't leave us in the dark regarding His will for our lives.
He spells it out for us in the Bible.
The bottom line is: Either we trust G0D or we don't.
The ultimate question is: Do you trust G0D or don't you?
The answer to that question,
will determine how you handle life's toughest problems.
You can do it your way....or you can do it His way.
Which way will you choose?
Excerpts from the book:
Overcoming Life's Toughest Problems
~Ed Hindson~
Home
Contact Us
Search
Chat Rooms
Forum
Disclaimer & Policies
Forum FAQ
Search
Usergroups
Preferences
Members List
Fun Store
Watched Topics
Sub-Forum
hopefully, i have been able to express what i mean and how i feel this time.
