HI evreyone i am new to this site so i will tell you how it is since i really have never opened up to any one about this except you guys people i dont know in fear of my image .. I am 22 years old and have been a daily user of cocaine for about 4 -5 years and havent missed a day between that. Evreyday i feel like im dying, wake up feel depressed, have trouble breathing, my leg goes numb, my chest hurts, and my brain just is not there anymore yet i still go out and hustle at work evreyday i amaze myself even sometimes lol . I get weird feeling all the time like my whole left side goes numb or just like im fading away. I have decided today enough is enough and if i am not going to get help i need to try on my own first. I have not touched cocaine in 24 hours but i am still sweating and my leg feels numb.
My main reason for my cocaine use is i stand at about 5"2.5 preety short for a guy eh ? my whole life i always think im soo good looking but so short and i feel like no girls think im hot or just ignore me cause of my height... soo cocaine is my way of hiding these problems even though they are still there deep down inside. My height bothers me so much it effects my work, my attitude and my relationship with other people as well as going out anywhere in public. When i see all these 6 foot guys and theyre hot girlfriends and im a little cute guy 5.2. any one ever have these problems? anyways what i am doing here is looking not only for adivce but trying to find someone who has done cocaine evrey single day in their life for at least four years, i want them to tell me all of this goes away.. the irregular heartbeat, the numbness in their legs, the sweating am i going to have difficulties doing stuff for the rest of my life? Will i dide atlike 40 or 50 becuase of my prior cocaine use? these are the questions that run threw myhead when i stay up till 7am in the morning. Hope to make it through the night that is how i always feel and then depressed about my height when i do. Thanks if you have read this far and look forward to hearing peoples responses. yours truly, devils advocate lol
I just want to tell you that I'm very proud of your for writing and for being so honest. I am pulling for you. You deserve to be healthy and live to find out about the life you can have. Everyone has something they are unhappy about themselves, but please remember that height is such a insignificant thing in the scheme of life! You can make out of your life whatever you want to.
Start Reading: medical complications associated with cocaine use.
http://www.cocainehelp.org/mod-subjects ... id-13.html
Do not want to scare you, but 40 - 50 is not always a choice. Cocaine is a sudden killer. If you are not using, even after the years of abuse, your chances of surviving will overwhelmingly increased.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
MrYaYo-
Sounds like you have so much going on, both mentally and physically. This is a great site because there are users and former users on it and I'm sure that you will get much information on what the effects of numbness and palpitations that are going on and how they relate to cocaine use. There are also some really good links on this site and you should check them out to. Your height seems to be affecting you in many areas (if not all) of your life, and I think that is a real important issue for you to work on. I believe we all have something about ourselves that we feel others will find unappealing, sometimes these things are on the inside and sometimes on the outside. We can cover up the inside stuff while we're on guard, and sometimes its even possible to cover up the outside stuff (wigs, make-up, baggy clothes) but sometimes its just not physically possible, so we have to find it in ourselves to accept what and who we are, and figure out how to be ok with that and how to love ourselves in spite of what we think-remember that we are most critical of ourselves, more then anyone else, and what we may dislike about us someone else might not even notice or might notice and like. There is much more to you then your height, but because this is such an obstacle for you then you need to decide on how to overcome this obstacle, probably with a professional who can help you see past it. Because of your cocaine addiction you have another river to cross, but again this can be accomplished. I think these 2 issues go hand in hand and that the sooner you address them the better you will feel about yourself. You are concerned about your future health and that is a great thing, it means you still want to be alive and alert for at least the next 20 or 30 years, and that can be done. Please read, read and read some more about the physical consequences of cocaine, there are plenty. Please seriously think about getting some help, CA or NA is a great way to start. Best wishes to you!
wow... already people on this site are throwing their advice and help THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU its amazing how some people you have talked to for 5 minutes will help you more then your friends! yes my height really does bther me i let it get to me in evrey way or form or part of life. i am going to be satrong quit cocaine it is ruinging my life and makes me think more along with me smoking marijuana and drinking heavily.Lucy B i have went for help many time.. it just does not work only if i find a liking for myself in my heart will i be better. thanks as well to admin for the article. so how long or ever did you guys daily use cocaine for, were you like me or longer? and when you quit how much better and did all the side effects go away ? as well thank you for your support sadlittlesis keep writing its great!
You have found a good resource for support here as you can already see members here to listen and reply. What they say can be invaluable in the sense that many have been where you are and in sharing here we all help each other.
When I read your post, I had to go back and look up something I had written years ago.... and I wanted to share it with you ...
I wrote the following almost 10 years ago to a friend that suffers from MS. He felt very limited because of his physical handicap, but for me that was not what I think of when he comes to mind.
Friendships Rainbow
Life being so busy, and fast as it is........
doesn’ t leave much incentive ~ to find time to give.
A kind word of sharing good wishes so true.....
is the reason I take time ~ to write this to you.
Sometimes life’s hardships get the best of us all....
leaving us to feel helpless ~ angry and small.
We all have been given some burdens to bare.....
to find a soul without troubles ~ is really quite rare....
Its good to know that we have friends when we fall....
to help us rise above the pain ~ and make us feel tall.
If ever you feel the need to laugh, cry, or share......
its not hard to find friends ~ that do truly care.
I must say it takes faith in which to live.......
in this fast world and the hardships ~ that it has to give.
Remember to find beauty in the things that you see....
like the breath of a soft wind ~ on the limbs of a tree.
The sun that peeks through your window today.....
is the same sun that may bring ~ a rainbow your way.
Here's to the person way deep down inside.....
to the heart and the soul ~ our bodies can hide.
Wishing you Strength and Peace .....
_________________ Positives create better results then Negatives
Everyone should know that this mryayo is a great guy! Thanks for all the "insider" help you give me with my son. You have a wealth of information that people on this site need and I hope you will share more of this. You are a strong person and you are doing a great job.
Go Mr.Yayo for helping Lucy with her struggle and for beginning your road to recovery. This is a great resource and so are you. That is the beauty of this site. People come here for support, and just sharing their story provides something to others here. Everyone has something to contribute, whether they are actively seeking to help others, or reaching out for help themselves. Welome!!!
I just wanted to update evreyone on how i am doing. As i sit here at work in shame that abused cocaine last again after only taking one night off, i realize the difference not only physically but mentally as well today. I sit here feeling my whole body shake and just can not stay focused. Talking to you Lucy B has helped me in so many ways giving back to someone who has a son that goes through my struggle. If i can help any one and i mean anyone who struggles with understanding addiction i am here to give you the other side of the battle. What i need from you people is stories of previous drug addicts who felt like they were dying, tell me do these episodes go away? Does the shaking stop or have i caused permanent damge. As well of methods of things people did when thinking about drugs to get their mind off it or fill the time. Thank you all!
Are you overdosing? My boyfriend was having trouble with fine motor control and he had these tick shake things. After his mom told him about that being a side effect of toxicity...he is either hiding it when he gets that way (deliberately not being around me), or he has cut back on how much he uses at once. I haven't seen those effects for almost 2 months in him. I know the day after he feels like he|l though. There is information somewhere on here, a link to signs of overdose/toxicity. Maybe Gene can point you in the right direction. And of course....see a doctor...and tell him about you addiction, so he/she can make an accurate assesment.
Given symptoms are too broad and could be caused by different conditions. For example, panic attack will produce the same symptoms. To rule out any somatic changes you have to see your doctor, and you should be open about your addiction.
Also, I think it will be beneficial for you to see a psychologist, particularly because of you concern about small height.
Best wishes, Gene.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
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