How does one live a normal life after having so much turmoil?How does a person go day in day out doing their daily rutine?I know there are people out there that live normal all im asking is how?What makes a person happy and content not to screw up their life on a daily basses? Is it because some of us lived all or most of our lives in choas that we dont know how to live normal?.Im not trying to get pity in any way shape or form as my mother would say "you made your bed now lie in it".I just figure ive had a dam rough life,Ive been beat up,stepped on knocked down,you name it ive experenced it in some way.When will I have peace of mind?When will life be normal for me?Show me the way.
What is a normal life? Everyone makes different choices in their lives. Some choices lead us to places we never thought we would go. Other times things just fall in our laps and turn a life upside down. Everyone's life has challenges. It is hard to see the challenges from the outside looking in. Perhaps the only way to know of the challenges is for the person living the life to disclose them. If you look at the autobiographies of people you admire, I'm sure you will find they had/have challenges...and I'm sure there will be some explanation as to how some of the challenges they have faced were resolved. Peace of mind comes from within. Knowing that you are doing the best that you can...that you are working hard to get where you want to be...and that you are gentle with yourself.
Forgiveness of self. Forgiveness of others. Gratitude for what we have and how our experience, however challenging, has made us stronger. Happiness for where we are, even if it is not someplace we want to be...because from there we have an opportunity to work hard and try to get where we want or need to go.
Noone can say for certain why things happen the way they do...the universe is a mysterious place. I think outlook has a lot to do with finding peace of mind and happiness. I wish I had an answer for you. If we can face and meet the challenges we come across, peace of mind comes from knowing we have done the best we can with what we have at the moment. Your dreams can be yours. Keep believing, and keep working at it. These are my thoughts on the subject.
For me, some days are still he|l. Nowhere nearly as hott as it was at one time. Other times, there is this chillbump feeling that runs through me, (which by the way I never had when I was where I was doing what I was doing) anytime I cannot help but to recognize the results of doing the next right thing. MOST OF THE TIME, I HATE TO DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING. BUT IM THANKFUL FOR THE FACT THAT 9 TIMES OUT OF 10..I KNOW IN MY HEART WHAT THAT RIGHT THING IS AND THAT I ALSO KNOW WHERE IT COMES FROM (i just dont always listen). But every time I actually follow through with it, the inner peace I find, is more valuable to me than anything in this entire world.
Normal= not me.
Me= inactive addict.
inactive addict=not normal.
Not normal= me.
Me= appreciative Im not normal, LOL.
(I COULDNT BE SOMETHING I DONT KNOW/UNDERSTAND THE DEFINITION OF)
Get the point?
Once I take a minute out of each day to realize this, (which I dont do every day) It seems as if I can accept who I am, why I think the way I do, and appreciate myself for what I have become...just as you should, and will if you ask for it.
None of us asked to have the past we do, we were placed there. None of us were taken out of that place, soley based upon the fact that we were tired of it...but more so that we were earnest of it, and demanded another way. Demand in yourself, to think differently sometimes, look at yourself and say hey...Im doing alright today, even if all he|l is breaking loose. And if it is, you can ask for our guidance, in which we shall share with you to the best of our ability...
But to take a minute from my day...and ask for guidance from above, even if I dont believe at that time, ... I just ask, or talk. and I let HIM know when I know he is there..and I thank HIM for those little pieces of strength and peace within.
_________________ ~what happens to a person is less significant than what happens within them~
I also have asked myself what makes life so easy for others, and such a challenge for the rest.
I have come to the conclusion that although that people we meet and greet on a frequent basis, seems to have it all together and many certainly appearing all tucked in and tidy, so to speak have their moments that they are unraveled and tattered on the inside, or perhaps they have one issue that eats at them, at least one ...
Fate does have a way of throwing us all a curve every now and then, but life such as it is keeps us from allowing it to keep us down for too long because if we allow, it will consume us to the point that we will cease to function in a forward direction.
Just considering what it takes to live in this world today, does not allow you to sit back and weep for very long. No, we have to push through the obstacles and the rubble and move forward, in doing so we may appear like someone that has the ability to take things in stride when in truth we all have our moments ... happiness and joy , pain and and sorrow.
Diane although there are circumstances in your life that you see as turmoil and rightfully so, hard to digest, difficult to swallow, there are also good things that you are blessed with and happiness that results from those blessings.
No different from the statement that has been made here time and time again. Taking and growing with the things that we can change to improve a negative trait or situation... the things that are within our power to change, we hopefully grow and progress adapting so that we can reach that place we wish to be. The things that we are not capable of changing we learn to cope and accept, or we ourselves adapt.
EMBRACING what is good and appreciating what it means to us in this life and working through the times of hardship, being thankful for the good that is present and improving what we can, as we can ... is the best that anyone can achieve. Taking the time to enjoy what is good, gives us the break from our turmoil, so that we can find the strength and determination to work on the rest....
I think we open ourselves up to saving ourselves much unnecessary grief and turmoil if we try to learn adequate "coping skills," which many of us did not learn in our childhood. I know I did not have the coping skills to the extent that I needed them and I am quite fresh at coping in a manner that allows me to grow. I think it is important for us to learn and grow as adults, and to try and release our children into this world knowing how to cope with adverse situations to the very best of our abilities. Some lessons, they will most definately learn the hard way and as freedomisprecious said, sometimes she just doesn't listen to what she knows to be right and I think most of us can say the same. If we learn and grow from each and every bad decision that we make and apply that to future decisions, loving ourselves enough to put our best foot forward we can be the best that we can improve how we choose to live.....
This is how I look at it and it has helped me in ways that I at one time could have never imagined. I have learned that I am capable, and I am still learning and hope to continue to learn and grow .....
How does one live a normal life after having so much turmoil?
In a manner that is usual for them,
Normalcy is different for everyone, as is turmoil
Darling, don't forget what I reposted a few days ago,
lilbubba49 wrote:
How does a person go day in day out doing their daily rutine?
LOL...You know what my daily routine is...
NOT having a daily routine...
the closest thing to a routine for me,
is getting Jacob to school, Mon.-Fri.
and, even then, there is not a routine.
I live day to day and for the moment,
lilbubba49 wrote:
I know there are people out there that live normal all im asking is how?
I don't have the time nor the desire,
to worry about whether or not
how I conduct my life, on a daily basis
follows standards or is met with approval
I haven't even 1 present for Jacob for x mas
and frankly, I told him this morning,
after he brought up how he couldn't wait to see
which toys he'll get from the wish list he made
Jacob, there won't be any presents
under the tree from your wish list...I'm sorry
There goes the lip...I'm like..hey look,
I can't wrap the presents you get all year long...
I'm keeping a roof over your head,
cable, electricity, food,...
You have a playstation, a playstation2, a psp, a gamecube,
gameboy advanced, gameboy DS, a PS eyetoy
and well over 200 games...not counting your PC games
We go every year to WDW for a week...
Next xmas will be different
cause I'll be working again and.....
Now, he cuts me off...
You shouldn't have quit your job,
you need to get a job so we can
buy a house and a car and I can have a dog.
He has NO IDEA I can also be so wacked out on crack
that we're homeless and eating out of garbage cans,
though, that wouldn't happen cause
one of my sibilings would take him in,
then he wouldn't have his mother OR his father,
I'd let someone else raise him and be in my happy place
lilbubba49 wrote:
What makes a person happy and content not to screw up their life on a daily basses?
Myself, I'm just happy that I have what I need
and content in knowing, things could always be worse
lilbubba49 wrote:
Is it because some of us lived all or most of our lives in choas that we dont know how to live normal?.
The way I live my life...
carry about and which is *normal* for me,
creates a conflict with those who do not approve,
*chaos* is normal for me
lilbubba49 wrote:
Im not trying to get pity in any way shape or form as my mother would say "you made your bed now lie in it".I just figure ive had a dam rough life,Ive been beat up,stepped on knocked down,you name it ive experenced it in some way.When will I have peace of mind?When will life be normal for me?Show me the way.
If your following someone elses way,
your going their way, not your way....
Staying sober will give you the peace of mind to know,
your as normal, in your own right, as everyone else,
the grass isn't always greener on the other side...
Life's under no obligation
to give us what we expect.
We take what we get
and are thankful it's no worse than it is.
~Margaret Mitchell~
Peace and Love,
Lynn
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
Thanks Lynn,I know your right.Things are starting to get back to as normal as they can.The grass always looks greener on the other side but it still has to be mowed.Thanks gene for that beautiful story.Hope everyone has a good xmas and New year.
diane
Diane-I know what you mean about living normal, I wish we could go back in time to when life was what we felt was normal, I guess we all wish that. I'd like to have a minute where I didn't feel so consumed by drugs, drugs, drugs, and I'm not even the one using. I can't seem to get past what's been going on in my life & 2 of my friends I've been avoiding came to my house today & came down hard on me, telling me to not let this consume my every thought and action, and I know they are right. My one friend, who is married to an alcoholic, gets a lot of peace from her religion, and I see others on this site who also are able to find comfort from a higher being and I think that "he" is a good one to turn to and I'd like to pursue that myself more. Also I've been trying to push out thoughts, kind of like how people who meditate (which I also hear is a good idea) push thoughts out of their mind by replacing them with counting to 4 or saying a mantra.
You've fought many tough battles and are stronger because of them. I know this is tiring for you but you must keep up the fight. You are an inspiration for me, please be healthy, and happy.
Lucy
Dear lucy,Your friends are right you cant let this consume your every thought or you will go crazy. Try to do things for you that make you feel good.your son is in a safe place now getting the help he needs.You have to be strong so when he comes out you can give him all the support he needs.Wishing you all the best.
Diane
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