Ok, so I spoke to my incarcerated boyfriend for the second time today. The first time he tells me he never wants to go back to jail, to which I tell him, then he knows what he needs to do to prevent that. The second time I speak to him, he tells me the first thing he's doing when he gets out is having a drink. My question is, if he is going to try to overcome his addiction to crack, does he need to stop drinking as well? Or will the occassional drink be ok? The year he was clean, he still drank. I (personally) don't think that his alcohol consumtion has any bearing on his when, how often/much or need to use crack. Correct me if I'm wrong, please!
as with most addictions, the association factor plays large. if he chooses to have a drink in a bar then in all likelyhood, crack will be in the general vicinity. the temptation will be that much greater.
a person who has an addictive behaviour, generally uses any substance in a manner to deal with the problems associated with the addictive personality. substituting alcohol for crack does not eliminate the underlying problem. he may well be able to go another year just drinking and not using crack, but my guess is that eventually if he is able to not let the drinking become a problem that eventually he will convince himself that he can master crack in the same way with a little more effort. wrong!
_________________ I can embrace myself, hold my own hand, love me - but, I can't gaze into my own eyes and feel my own soul lift me up.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
Veruka,
Bill is right, as is usually the case. The two go hand-in-hand. At NA meetings, when you 'count' clean days - and subsequently pass milestones recognized by different color keychains/poker-like chips/etc. - that includes NO drinking. None, zip, zero...
My therapist consistently inquires about my alcohol consumption. This crack addiction thing is a battle between two parts of your mind. And if the part of you that is trying to stay clean gets wasted, then he's at a disadvantage in the struggle. But she has said if I'm in a situation where it would be too awkward to not drink, she recommends one glass of wine that you do not finish. So she is a little more flexible with regards to alcohol, but not much.
At one point I had a 30-day winning streak going. I blew it, as you probably figured out by now, by getting sorta wasted and somehow managed to rationalize smokin' a little crack. Of course, one hit too many and 1,000 is not enough so it turned to a 3-day binge.
So, NA says avoid alcohol, shrink says avoid alcohol, and from my personal experience, alcohol consumption has to be closely monitored. Otherwise, as Bill said, you're essentially trading in one addiction for another. Both are forms of 'self medication.'
With some luck, maybe your boyfriend can see a therapist and work on uncovering the underlying issues and constructively dealing with them. A lot of times I find myself working on the symptoms instead of the problem.
For example, if there's broken glass in the hallway and you walk through it barefoot, you should get the glass out of your foot and put a band-aid on it. But you don't keep walking up and down that hallway barefoot. You get some shoes on, a dustpan and broom, and clean up the glass.
I've spent a lot of time walking up and down that damn hallway and putting on a lot of band-aids. Thanks to therapy, I've gotten to the point where at least I'm wearing shoes now. Haven't swept up the glass yet, perhaps never will, but getting there.
I just wanted to add something as a relapsed alcoholic AND budding addict. Even when I have completely sworn of crack or coke, the high I get from alcohol doesn't come CLOSE to the rush of crack. As a result, I have consistently buckled and used, looking for that "better" high.
Basically, three things come in play, all which weaken my resolve not to use:
1. Whatever reason that is causing me to seek a drink in the first place (so stress, sadness, emptyness, whatever is the driving force)
2. The weakened self-control, brought on by alcohol
3. The growing want to experience a higher, better quality buzz.
One drink and I KNOW the night will end in crack. So I can't drink, period.
vegan-You identified a weak spot, a trigger, for your use and have made the right and smart decision here. This is a great example for others who face this same situation when trying to avoid their drug of choie. Great advice.
I concur and so does my therapist who has a specialty in addictions. We just talked about this the other day. No alcohol...for the reasons that Bill, John, Gene and Vegan have stated. Why take the chance, when the risk is falling back into full blow addiction. I think your b/f is kidding himself if he thinks drinking has nothing to do with his crack use.
I agree with the above posts as in my experence,as soon as i have a drink i somehow convince myself its ok to go to the edge.Sometimes all it takes is one drink to set my mind racing and im off.This is so hard for me as in my mind i want to get rid of the coke but dont want to say goodbye just yet to the drink.I dont crave drinking or even have to have it I just like to relax and enjoy a cold beer or a rye and coke(pop).The problem is I have to stop drinking as it leads to the other.
I find alcohol to just be a catalyst for using cocaine. At the very least I realize I'm just using it also as en escape and still not attaining sobriety.
I agree with you all, I don't know if it was a phase for me or not. I don't know if losing it all made me stay away from crack. I used crack back in the 80's when I was still a teenager and when it was in its infancy here in N.Y. I used then, but not habitually. I used it cause it was the new thing. It faded from my desires when some of my school buddies were going to jail for stealing for it, killing for it, doing anything for it. Then it hit the papers here, drug wars, crack whores, crack babies and the like. I just kept on drinking and smoking weed, every now and then I would smoke it with weed, mixed together. A few years goes by, maybe five or six. And bang, I'm smoking this crack everyday, I was in my twenties, maybe for a year or two. Still holding on to work and normal things. Then I got married, For the next three years everything was o.k., then one night I hit the pipe, and for the next nine months, all he|l. I would go on for days, just like my fellow addicts...Then I had to stop, I saw everything falling apart, that did not stop me, but what was coming ahead did. I could of sworn one day that I had the devil in me, my friends were there, they did not smoke, just weed. I thought I was going to jump out of a window... I slowly stayed away, I guess fear for my life scared me away from crack. I have so many other stories but that one is the one that did it for me...I did substitute it with alcohol, but never again did I have a desire for it. Ever. Coke that's another story that came later...But you are right I do remember taking a sip of alcohol, and before my lips were dry on was on my way to the spot. I must agree, somewhat.
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