I went to bed once this evening and was not resting, so I decided to come here and read for awhile. It's been awhile as my attention span with so many changes in the last month has been clearly lacking.
First, I want to welcome all new members and those currently posting that I have yet to catch up on.
Secondly, I just have to say WOW at the way that everyone is reaching out and by sharing thier stories in hopes they can help someone else as they learn to help themselves and their loved one's if that be the case. There are so may intelligent people on this site... with extrodinary abilities to share with others...
Once again, thanks to Gene for continuing to provide the site for all of us to come together and share, not to mention the information contained here, easy to reach for anyone who cares to utilize it's presence.
I am finally settled in our new place and feeling better physically, so I hope to be here more from this point on.
I will begin posting here as I am able, as I want to share with all of you what my situation is at the present time, how I feel about it, and as what my goals are at this point....always suggestions and your input will be welcomed...
going to give sleep another try for now ... I have missed all of you ...
Wishing you all Strength and Peace,
Michelle
_________________ Positives create better results then Negatives
Welcome Home!
You know, this site is mot complete without you.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
I think you, as well as Nikki,
should both do yourselves a favor,
and start discussing what your both reluctant to.
Neither of yous, are or have been,
directly addressing the situations
that brought yous here in the first place.
The few posts that you have both left lately,
have somehow shifted the focus off of
the progress or lack of changes, in Darell & Joe...
and have been providing reasons for staying the course...
Day by day, slowly but surely,
reaching or gaining a deeper and clearer understanding,
as to the reluctance or unwillingness to change courses.
Acknowledging and facing a reality check...
Analytical, inner examinations & self reflections,
resulting from the time & patience of baby steps.
I think not.
Feeble attempts to convince,
not us, but, yourselves...
of being one step closer to that day of reckoning.
Having diverted from facing the *what now*
by justifying the validity of the *how come*.
Being nothing more or less then,
a desperate solution to afford yourselves
another day to avoid the truth....the inevitable.
A fruitless attempt, continuing to hope against hope
to reach a place of contentment and fulfillment...victory
Making the days, months & years, that were spent...
worrying,
crying,
lonely,
bailing them out,
being angry,
stressed out,
being taken advantage of,
being lied to,
being yelled at,
being blamed for,
without stability for your children,
providing for a grown man,
feeling insecure,
giving up,
giving in,
going without,
on unfulfilled promises,
forsaking friends & family,
disappointed,
lost & confused,
making excuses,
being depressed,
longing for love,
convincing yourself to stay,
deciding you were walking away,
without surety,
without dependability,
without true companionship,
without being pampered,
without a social life as a couple,
being unhappy & unfulfilled...
worthwhile and not wasted in vain.
Isn't it about time the two of you stop chasing the wind?
Michelle,
I understand you've had some major adjustments lately,
but, the fact of the matter is...
Not posting for a great stretch of time,
but, more so, the loss of passion I see...
speaks volumes to me.
Adding your recent health problems into the mix,
only turns the volume up.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I think it best, if you & Nikki
stop holding it all in,
and honestly, start letting it all out.
Oh yea...One more thing Michelle.
Correct me if I'm wrong,
Your Kiwi...aren't you.
I Love You,
Lynn
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
Michelle-
I'm glad you have gotten settled in to the new place.
It is nice to see you back and around on the forum, and I look forward to seeing your posts. You bring a sense of peace and calmness along with a true heart here, and you have been missed.
I hope that your health issues continue to improve.
Shoot. I thought I was Kiwi and the drugs had messed you up.
dang dern, what's up with you alaskan cats always twistin things around. hey, jenni, beautiful day, i enjoyed it. i am sorry to hear that you got evicted because the elephant you were boarding crapped on your carpet. i did tell you it would have been better to just locate it into my freezer. oh well, live and learn, dern.
_________________ I can embrace myself, hold my own hand, love me - but, I can't gaze into my own eyes and feel my own soul lift me up.
Lovely evening here in Alaska. I sent the elephant back to the zoo. Someone else will have to figure out how to move the 9K pachyderm into your freezer. At over $3 a gallon I can't afford the fuel costs. I did send you a little present from the pachyderm, though. Expressmail. Should make your garden grow. Dern That's Loud.
Trying my best not to go AWOL here once again. I have been ill the last few days, and have other things happening that involves my youngest son Jordan as he was assualted on Saturday, Sunday I had a major "High Speed Come Apart" over the situation, and Monday was spent covering all the avenues I felt necessary to see that the system works with me in protecting my child further.... so it was a long day, however I am pleased with the results to this point. Far from over, but heading in a positive direction.
Lucy as always Thank you !!!
I mostly wanted to respond to our Dear Lynn.....
Yes sweetheart you have hit many nails on the head in your above post and I plan to address your concerns as soon as I have the mind and energy to do so .... I just wanted you to know and thank you for your concern. Love you too !
For now "Children First" as Jordan is my first priority above all else. I am home and not working today because I am ill and tomorrow is the 4th of July, hoping I can travel to a family ruinion on the 7th... going to get a nice steamy shower and some much needed rest for now ....
Love you all,
Michelle
_________________ Positives create better results then Negatives
Making the days, months & years,
that were spent...
worrying,
crying,
lonely,
bailing them out,
being angry,
stressed out,
being taken advantage of,
being lied to,
being yelled at,
being blamed for,
without stability for your children,
providing for a grown man,
feeling insecure,
giving up,
giving in,
going without,
on unfulfilled promises,
forsaking friends & family,
disappointed,
lost & confused,
making excuses,
being depressed,
longing for love,
convincing yourself to stay,
deciding you were walking away,
without surety,
without dependability,
without true companionship,
without being pampered,
without a social life as a couple,
being unhappy & unfulfilled...
worthwhile and not wasted in vain.
I can not think of one thing that you have missed on this either ....WOW, what a list !!! I am sure many can relate to what you have listed here as I can and do as well ...
Love Always,
Michelle
_________________ Positives create better results then Negatives
I think you, as well as Nikki,
should both do yourselves a favor,
and start discussing what your both reluctant to.
I will definately do that, all in good time. I want to make sure that everything makes sense to me first before i come here and talk about it. I want to make sure that i stick to my decisions and not cry wolf again.
Quote:
Lynn wrote:
Quote:
Making the days, months & years,
that were spent...
worrying,
crying,
lonely,
bailing them out,
being angry,
stressed out,
being taken advantage of,
being lied to,
being yelled at,
being blamed for,
without stability for your children,
providing for a grown man,
feeling insecure,
giving up,
giving in,
going without,
on unfulfilled promises,
forsaking friends & family,
disappointed,
lost & confused,
making excuses,
being depressed,
longing for love,
convincing yourself to stay,
deciding you were walking away,
without surety,
without dependability,
without true companionship,
without being pampered,
without a social life as a couple,
being unhappy & unfulfilled...
worthwhile and not wasted in vain.
I can not think of one thing that you have missed on this either ....WOW, what a list !!! I am sure many can relate to what you have listed here as I can and do as well ...
wow, i have to agree with you there, i could definately relate to that list.
I think you, as well as Nikki,
should both do yourselves a favor,
and start discussing what your both reluctant to.
I will definately do that, all in good time. I want to make sure that everything makes sense to me first before i come here and talk about it. I want to make sure that i stick to my decisions and not cry wolf again.
Ummm, Nikki...I have a question.
What the h-ll are you taking about?
I just want to hear what's been going on.
I'd like to know, what has changed, hasn't changed,
or, has been picked up from where it was left off.
I mean, really....
What needs to make sense to you first,
before you're ready to talk about it?
Exactly, what is it that has to make sense to you,
in order for you to tell us, it's back to the same sh-t?
Furthermore...
What does telling us, by implying,
there is something you've decided to do,
but, want to be sure you'll see it through...
have to do with, what's been going on?
Quite frankly, not only am I,
waiting to hear what I already know but,
wondering if you'll ever come clean about...
What was really going on when Joe supposedly left you,
and how it really went down, that you let him come back.
I mean, really...your version of events
before and after Joe *left*, doesn't make any sense....period
From out of the blue,
he would just pack up and leave...move out.
At first it was supposedly because...
nikki wrote:
He told me that
he needed to leave for him and take care of him.
He said that he loves me with all his heart
and that he had to prove that to me.
he needs to work on him....He has to do it his way.
Only to find out the day after he left,
it was really because of...
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Dern!!!
