I am happy for you for just being happy and comfortable in the situation that you are with darryl. I know that it hasn't been easy for you and sometimes he|l but i am happy that things are looking up for you. Keep taking care of yourself and glad to see you back. Glad you are back to lynn.
let me just say this. i have spent an incredable amount of time speaking with with michelle, since she disappeared from the site way back when. we became very good friends very quickly.
ROFLMFAO....Please Bill,
I'm not in the mood to extensively,
start pulling quotes
Now, it's very good/close friends but,
your earlier rendition left me, at least,
before finding out who Kiwi was,
hearing wedding bells in the distance.
Now, as to why, she didn't nip it in the bud sooner...
I do not know but...I know, if that were me,
I would have cleared up your confusion A.S.A.P.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
i guess that no one person here can force her to speak about anything she doesn't want to. the biggest problem i had with our friendship was in hearing about the daily abuse she was being subject to by darrel. he must have knocked her to the ground a hundred times over the last several months and i was always there to pick her back and let her know that she was loved
No, your right....
No one can force her to speak about,
things she chooses not to...
but, she should not feel forced to address,
the things you chose to speak for her.
the biggest problem i had with our friendship was
in hearing about the daily abuse she was being subject to by darrel.
What are friends for?
How are you able to say, yous were close friends,
if you had a problem being there for her, as a friend.
Being that, the interaction between the two of yous,
originated from this site, being fully aware of,
the reasons for being a part of this site,
and the capacity in which the site serves those reasons...
Am I a mor0n to assume,
any interaction outside the site,
is merely an extension of this site....of support,
between two members who have formed a closer bond.
Meaning,...One would have to think,
you'd be there to listen to issues pertaining to Darell
and she'd be there to listen to issues pertaining to your sobriety...
and then, for the both of you, everything else in between.
If what she told you was such a problem for you,
and you couldn't be there for her, as her friend,
then you should have stopped communicating with her.
What does this even mean now...
he must have knocked her to the ground a hundred times
over the last several months
and i was always there to pick her back
and let her know that she was loved
Friends are supposed to pick us up...
friends are supposed to love us...
That's why we call or consider, someone our friend.
It's not what we do for a while,
that constitutes a friend...
it's what we do anyways and always,
despite....because we are a friend.
Don't try to be someone's friend,
if you can't be someone's friend.
You should be able to
express any emotions with or to friends.
Just as I do here...
If I'm not happy with someone, I let them know,
but, our friendship is not based on my happiness.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
i was rather surprised to see her post this morning as well. after all her and i had been through i would have thot she would let me know in advance what she was going to post, but she she didn't feel it neccasary.
After everything you've said about Darell
being controlling, possessive and manipulative,
I'm surprised you don't see those very characteristics,
not only, in your words above but, in your entire post.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
i had broke off contact with michelle a couple of weeks ago because i felt that as long as i was available to her that she was not taking the look that she ought to about her relationship with darrel.
So...In other words,
your friendship is available to her,
only if she starts to look at her relationship with Darell,
the way you feel she ought to be looking at it.
Again....
After everything you've said about Darell
being controlling, possessive and manipulative,
I'm surprised you don't see those very characteristics,
not only, in your words above but, in your entire post.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
it is true that the man is overly possesive. i wont go into detail but if she cares to share the degree of control that he exercises over her life, then she'll do that.
Obviously, what you stated as fact,
she didn't care to share....you did.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
michelle has always felt strongly that were she not there to offer continued support to darrel, even in the face of his abuse, that he would return to using and that it would be her fault. she is a very giving person and he is a very manipulative and taking child. he has a way of guilting her into things.
What are you trying to do?
flagginthedraggin wrote:
anyway, i had to say something.
And boy, did you ever.
You brought a lot of things here,
I feel you shouldn't have...
She confided in you...not here.
Invoke or encourage her to share...
not back her into a corner and feel
forced to set the record straight.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
i have alot of respect for michelle, for where she's been and where she strives to go.
I know you do but,
your post definitely did not reflect that
and honestly, your words have actually contradicted that.
Pride and being sore are bad things to hold on to.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
i personally do not feel that darrel has done anything in the way of dealing with the issues in their relationship, but moreso is being just clever enough to accomadate her, until he gets his foot back in the door. he is not a man who knows how to stand on his own two feet. he needs a woman and a household which he can control in order to feel any self worth. he was quite lost this whole time without the comfort of her attention. i don't think there was a day gone by during this whole time that he wasn't in her face, as she once put it to me, shadowing her every move. she can't talk to the neighbour or a stranger on the street, without him needing to know what they were talking about.
Personally, I feel you need to
stop analyzing Darell's actions and motives
and start focusing on, not only,
your own actions and motives but,
what YOUR not dealing with...like, your f-cking addiction.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
i could go on and on but i wont. i am not offended by the direction she is taking, i just don't believe she is doing it for the right reasons.
From the looks of where I am so far,
you do go on and on some more.
ROFLMFAO....I can't believe you....
your not offended by the direction she is taking
That's good cause, it wouldn't f-cking matter if you were.
Your post was not for the right reasons,
nor, with the best intentions.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
i watched michelle grow and supported her readily in that area. michelle and i both watched darrel try to regain the control he once had. i told michelle that it was going to take darrel a long, long time to learn the basic fundamentals of respect, michelle told me that she didn't think he'd ever learn it in his lifetime. so yes, i am confused about the rather sudden change.
Oye Vay...I'm confused as to,
where your coming up with this sh!t.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
michelle thinks i have been absent from the site because she has made me feel bad in some way. well, the reason i was absent was simply to allow her the space to respond to her thread. i just felt i needed to remove myself from the overall picture.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
i've been doing speed again since july 1st.this has nothing to do about how i'm feeling about michelle or the situation as is,
That's right.....she's not to blame for you taking speed...
flagginthedraggin wrote:
kiwi told me this week that i have to stop doing the speed. not a request anymore, but an order. reasonable enough in my thinking. she doesn't want to deal with another addiction problem in a relationship and who can blame her.
...anymore then she deserves any credit for you stopping.
And to finish the above quote....
flagginthedraggin wrote:
she has suffered lots already and i am quite proud of her for the way she has handled the situation thus far and it ain't over yet. whatever, long as we're all content in the end.
That's right....you should be proud,
to have Michelle as your friend...
to have a friend like Michelle,
who, despite having enough sh!t on her plate as it is,
cares about you and your addiction as well.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
...but rather, i lacked the ambition and momentum to work. i need to make money and this is giving me the kick start that i need, i intend to keep using it for the remainder of this month and then once again wean off it. i know i can do it.
so, to everyone, including michelle, i am doing fine. whatever i am doing and what choices i make, i make independantly.
Your NOT fine so spare the bullsh!t already huh....
You've substituted one drug for another
and your posts over the last so many months
CLEARLY, to me anyway, highlight the effects of your speed usage
Frankly, I am quite surprised you haven't
picked up a pipe...nor, would I be.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
i don't do things as a means to intimidate.
No, certainly not intimidation...
I'm sure you know a better word to describe your purpose.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
michelle, yours and my friendship needent end here. i believe you need to start being more forthright with what goes on in your life. you have expressed it so many times through words and tears to me, how the last six years of your life have amounted to nothing. it would be nice to think that happiness is something that you can now achieve, and i believe you are more than entitled to it. i just feel it's a shame that you're relying on such a weak character of a man.
NO...You need to start being more forthright
and come to grips with feeling sore and discontent
and the hurt that has stemmed from your disillusions.
The only one I see right now,
displaying such a weak character for a man...is you
flagginthedraggin wrote:
that's all i got to say. michelle can fill you ion on the rest if she cares to.
Sh!t...who needs to hear from Michelle....
you fill us in on the rest.
I Love You
Lynn
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
Wow!Bill you know I love ya,but I have to agree with Lynn here,I really dont think you had a right to post any thing that michelle told you as a friend.I dont blame her for being a little peeved,cause I would be down right pissed.I think she took it easy on you by saying shame on you Bill.Come on Michelle,we know your a lady,but you can do better than that.No worries,Lynn took care of it for ya.
Love yas
Diane
Wow, lots is going on here. I just wanted to comment on what lynn had previous wrote to me regarding my marriage and joe and her previous post to me. I just wanted to say that you are right lynn, I am not proud of alot of decisions that i made including taking my kids out of a bad situation and entering them into another bad one and maybe worst.
When my husband cheated on me i was pissed like crazy and i acted like an unresponsible adult not thinking about anyones feelings but mine. I acted selfish so i decided to give him the same hurt as he did to me. Boy did that blow up in my face. I am not proud of that as i am not proud of alot of things that i did regarding the separation and divorce and the way i did it. Right now i am pissed, of course when i read your post i was upset, not at you but at myself because the truth hurts.
I am mad at the fact of what my ex did to me and i am upset with what i did to him, i hate the choices i made for myself that affected me and my kids. I am mad that i lost my marriage, lost my home, lost my life and then i fell in love with an addict thinking that everything would be okay that he was clean and not knowing what to expect when dealing with an addict. I don't blame joe for that, he was who he was and i wanted him to be the way i thought he could be. I tryed to change him later thinking that i could be his savoir. You know i really felt guilty and help myself responsible for a failed marriage and not being able to fix joe and his issues. I know that i am not responsible for joe and his choices but sometimes i still felt responsible.
So thats where i am because of my choices. I must learn from my mistakes and its useless to beat myself up about all the bad choices i made and move forward making better choices for my kids. I must forgive myself for the past and let it go and let go of the anger and the hurt that my choices have brought me.
If we go back far enough in this post I believe I'm the one Lynn wanted to bite her...Where?
A lot has been said, all good and clarifying. We come from such different backgrounds and experiences. We all have different takes on the same situation.
I sat down to pay bills tonight, had a good profit sharing check from May that should see me through for a while. Turns out that Scott paid the home equity line of credit this month. I suppose that should make me happy. It is maddening. He hasn't paid anything in almost a year. It took me 45 minuits on the phone with the bank to find out where the payment came from. It still may not clear. (bad checks are his specialty) I spend every month almost making it. If I had double paid this bill because he paid it it would suck. I also feel like he's creeping around behind me. I know I should be grateful for the money, but just give me the damn divorce and cut things off clean!!!
We all make decisions in life. None are perfect and not everyone understands the one's we make. All we can do is what feels right. What we think is for the best. Who knows. We could all be dead tomorrow. We at least have to try for now. Michelle, if you are happy and are satified with what you are doing, I wish you the best. Lynn, let people decide for themselves. You don't have to agree, I know you often won't, but climbing up someone's a$$ isn't going to help.
Maybe you should talk about whatever it is,
that is on your mind or weighing heavy on your heart....
instead of unleashing your emotions,
through your hypocritical comments.
Peace & Love
Lynn
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
hypocritical, my a$$. Sometimes I think I am the only one here who will stand up to your bullying. Name one thing that has been hypocritical. I stand up for what I believe. I stick with what I say. I'm honest. You know I love you. But sometimes you go too far.
hypocritical, my a$$. Sometimes I think I am the only one here who will stand up to your bullying. Name one thing that has been hypocritical. I stand up for what I believe. I stick with what I say. I'm honest. You know I love you. But sometimes you go too far.
I already planned to...that's why I'm back.
I wanted to get a few things out of the way here first.
I'm a bully?
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
I stand up for what I believe. I stick with what I say.
Yea....and?
Our beliefs and convictions,
are not the only things that hypocrisy can define....
Alison wrote:
hypocritical, my a$$.
Name one thing that has been hypocritical.
The pot calling the kettle black,
having no room to talk, do as I say, not as I do....
refer to hypocrisy or being hypocritical.
keepitreal wrote:
Frankly Michelle...
My patience is growing thin with you.
Both you and Bill are ticking me off,
more so, you.
Neither of yous, had no damn right,
creating whatever it is yous created.
And, I'm laying the blame on you Michelle.
Alison wrote:
Lynn,
Back the F*ck off. Do it now. Too much, too soon.
Alison
keepitreal wrote:
Alison wrote:
Lynn,
Back the F*ck off. Do it now. Too much, too soon.
Alison
Excuse me
Alison wrote:
What ever was "created" was done without your consent and without your input. It is none of your business unless it directly affects you - which it doesn't.
It is none of your or any of our business.
The very fact...
you made it your business...to get into my business,
just to tell me, what wasn't any of my business, is hypocritical.
Of course, instead of being a hypocrite,
we can just chalk this up as a fine example of how....
I'm so good at...pointing out the flaws in everyones logic.
Right Alison?....The nerve of me
Alison wrote:
You don't have to agree, I know you often won't, but climbing up someone's a$$ isn't going to help.
ROFLMFAO....You climbed up my a$$,
cause you didn't agree to what I was posting.
Oh wait...my bad, you weren't up my a$$,
you were standing up for Michelle....Silly me.
Alison wrote:
Sometimes I think I am the only one here who will stand up to your bullying.
Gee...What would Michelle do without you...
against a bully like me....Boo Hoo
Alison wrote:
Lynn,
Back the F*ck off. Do it now.
Alison wrote:
you need to back off of this
Change topics!
MIA up until the end of June...go figure
*Too much, too soon*
You do not have enough information. None of us do...
All we want is the best for Michelle, Daryll and Bill.
Alison wrote:
NO! you don't want to be involved with him. I am the smack him upside the head and get out running person here. Don't bother. There is better. You can do better. Trust me.
Alison
Alison wrote:
Lynn, let people decide for themselves.
I'm sorry.....what was that?
Alison wrote:
We all make decisions in life. None are perfect and not everyone understands the one's we make. All we can do is what feels right. What we think is for the best.
Alison wrote:
Do Not Judge This Situation. You do not have enough information.
None of us do and it is not our place to judge.
Each one of us deals with our own situations in our own way. We come here for support.
You are very good at pointing out flaws in our logic, but you do not have all the answers.
Gee Alison, you make a lot of good points....
TO BAD YOUR NOT SCORING ANY!
Alison wrote:
Vero,
You do not fall in love at a party. Romeo and Juliet both ended up dead. There is no such thing as "magic". Love is hard, it is work. If your image of a "perfect b/f" is someone high you need to grow up. How old are you anyway? When something seems too good to be real it ALWAYS is!!!!
Alison
Alison wrote:
hypocritical, my a$$.
Name one thing that has been hypocritical.
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.
Let's see, you're on my a$$ because I'm on your a$$ about you being on Michelle's a$$. Wow, this is hard to follow.
I believe we all have the best intentions here. I believe we all care very much.
I won't always agree with what you post. You don't always agree with me. That is what makes this a forum. I do respect what you have to say and I hope the same extends to me. I am going away to post my new developments.
a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.
Let's see, you're on my a$$ because I'm on your a$$ about you being on Michelle's a$$.
Wow, this is hard to follow.
hypocrite
n. A person given to hypocrisy.
hypocrisy
1.a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc.,
that one does not really possess.
2.a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude.
3.an act or instance of hypocrisy.
Thesaurus: 10 results for hypocrisy
Main Entry: lip service
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: empty talk
I follow...and I repeat what I said above. I don't always agree with what you say but I do respect it. I've walked away from your post a number of times but can't leave it alone. I haven't been as MIA as you think, just not all out. I've missed you here as well and offer a...not an apology, but an olive brance of peace.
I follow...and I repeat what I said above. I don't always agree with what you say but I do respect it. I've walked away from your post a number of times but can't leave it alone. I haven't been as MIA as you think, just not all out. I've missed you here as well and offer a...not an apology, but an olive brance of peace.
Al
LOL....no kidding.
My MIA comment was sarcastic
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
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