He left!!!!!

keepitreal · Helping Hand IV

nikki wrote:

keepitreal wrote:

Are you back with him or what...fess up.

i must be honest no matter what,

LOL...knowing me as you do...I think that's a great idea.

nikki wrote:

yes we are trying to work things out.
When I left to australia i missed him dearly and he did too. Since i got back things have been EXTREMELY better..........for how long, who knows.

So, in keeping with that great idea of honesty....
How long have you been back with him?

You do notice your words I'm stressing above,
so just use that as a guideline so I don't have to go and pull sh!t up.

Be honest with me...o.k.
I was right the first time, wasn't I Nikki?

nikki wrote:

I don't know when its time to give up hope or will he actually get better,,,,,,,, i have no answers for that. But i do know that if this falls down again and i get hurt than i will only have myself to blame.

Alrighty then....

I Love You Too My Dearest Nikki
Lynn Rose

nikki · Devoted

Quote:

So, in keeping with that great idea of honesty....
How long have you been back with him?

We have been trying to work things out since about 2 weeks before i left to australia, if my memory serves me correctly.

Quote:

Be honest with me...o.k.
I was right the first time, wasn't I Nikki?

You mean right about the time that i started to work things out with him. I want to be sure about what you are asking me so i could answer you correctly and honestly.

Love you

Nikki

lucyb · Helping Hand I

Nikki-
How is your b/f doing as far as his drug use? I am hoping that he is working on his recovery.

How are you feeling about the relationship at this point?

I know you care deeply for him and that your sons were also quite attached to him, so I really really hope that he is doing well, and I hope also that you are happy with how things are.

Take care,
Lucy

Jenni · Helping Hand I

Nikki,

Lucy, asked my question. How is your b/f doing? Is he still in active addiction? Has he made any steps toward recovery? Did the time and distance make a difference? What do you mean by things are EXTREMELY better?

I can't tell you not to follow you heart. Your heart will know what to do....certainly I felt like I followed my heart through out and am still doing it...despite what everyone says/said. I'm praying for both of you...and would still like to know how things are better.

Love and Hugs
Jenni

flaggin · Helping Hand III

welcome back. nikki.

nikki · Devoted

Quote:

welcome back. nikki.

Hey Flaggin

Thank you very much, glad to be back. I hope all is well with you, pictures will be coming soon from my vacation.

Take care my friend
Nikki Rose

nikki · Devoted

Dear Lucy and Jenni

Right now i really can't complain with the way things are. I have to admit that the problems that i had before was i had trouble getting money from him to make ends meet and it was alway a fight why he was short of money.....of course because he use to use it for his drugs. We used to fight constantly about his addiction and him getting help.

Since i have been back he is still on the waiting list for out patient rehab. We talk more about his feeling towards the drugs and when he gets tempted he stays away from where he is no supposed to be and he doesn't give me a fight about it. He gives me all the money he has to help me pay bills and doesn't ask me for any money. He don't fight at all anymore, no screaming. We had one argument and we actually talked through it and no screaming. For me its already a big change.

How long will this last.....i have no idea, but for now everything is going okay. Thanks for caring

Love you guys
Nikki

Jenni · Helping Hand I

Sounds like a good start Nikki. I hope he keeps it up.

nikki · Devoted

Thanks Jenni, i hope so too.

Nikki

lucyb · Helping Hand I

Nikki-
I am glad he is still wanting to get some help, and that he has stayed on the waiting list. Its a shame that he has to wait.

I am also glad that he is giving you some financial support. Are you two living together again or is he still staying at his sister's?

I hope that all stays well, and that your eyes are staying wide open.

Take care.
Lucy

keepitreal · Helping Hand IV

lucyb wrote:

Nikki-
I am glad he is still wanting to get some help, and that he has stayed on the waiting list. Its a shame that he has to wait.

Well, April 20th will be 8 weeks...
I'm saving this issue for my next post though.

lucyb wrote:

I am also glad that he is giving you some financial support. Are you two living together again or is he still staying at his sister's?

nikki wrote:

He gives me all the money he has to help me pay bills and doesn't ask me for any money.

Well, wouldn't you think he's living back there
if he's giving her all the money he has Rolling Eyes

keepitreal · Helping Hand IV

nikki wrote:

keepitreal wrote:

So, in keeping with that great idea of honesty....
How long have you been back with him?

We have been trying to work things out since about 2 weeks before i left to australia, if my memory serves me correctly.

LOL...what?!?!
if your memory serves you correctly....

Girl please...your so hung up on him,
I can't see how your memory could be too foggy
concerning something so significant,

Furthermore, the way I see it, you have 2 choices here,

A...You can simply tell me that,
the reunion is off limits and none of my buisness

or....

B...You can save yourself the trouble
of trying to walk on egg shells with me and just come clean.

It's your life Nikki...
I don't care that your back with him...YOU HAVE BEEN
nor do I love you any less...
I just want you and the boys to be happy.

I don't care if you don't tell me the truth,
because you won't tell me anything...
But, I DO care if you try and tell me a crock of bullsh!t

Because I will tell you right now,
I KNOW...2 weeks before you left is a crock of sh!t

nikki wrote:

keepitreal wrote:

Be honest with me...o.k.
I was right the first time, wasn't I Nikki?

You mean right about the time that i started to work things out with him. I want to be sure about what you are asking me so i could answer you correctly and honestly.

I'll state this again....

The way I see it, you have 2 choices here,

A...You can simply tell me that,
the reunion is off limits and none of my business

or....

B...You can save yourself the trouble
of trying to walk on egg shells with me and just come clean.

I Love You,
Lynn

keepitreal · Helping Hand IV

Jenni wrote:

Lucy, asked my question. How is your b/f doing? Is he still in active addiction?

When was the last time he used Nikki?...
That you know about anyway.

Jenni wrote:

Has he made any steps toward recovery?

Jenni wrote:

Did the time and distance make a difference?

Jenni wrote:

What do you mean by things are EXTREMELY better?

LOL...what do you mean?

Come on Jenni...
What should you have asked her?

I don't think your question,
best reflects your train of thought,
regarding Nikki's comment...

Unless I'm mistaken, which I highly doubt I am,
I know what your getting at,
your just not putting it out there in the best way.

Jenni wrote:

I can't tell you not to follow you heart. Your heart will know what to do....certainly I felt like I followed my heart through out and am still doing it...despite what everyone says/said.

Oye Vay...I just don't know sometimes....

Jenni...please...do me a favor.

Do not compare your situation to Nikki's...Thank You

Peace,
Lynn

nikki · Devoted

Quote:

When was the last time he used Nikki?...
That you know about anyway.

The last time that I know about that he used is 2 weeks before i left to australia.

nikki

nikki · Devoted

Quote:

Well, wouldn't you think he's living back there
if he's giving her all the money he has

He has been living with me since i got back home from australia.

Quote:

I don't care if you don't tell me the truth,
because you won't tell me anything...
But, I DO care if you try and tell me a crock of bullsh!t

Because I will tell you right now,
I KNOW...2 weeks before you left is a crock of sh!t

First things first, its not a crock of *censored sh_t. Whether you believe me or not i don't give a *censored sh_t. I have been trying to work things out 2 weeks before i left to australia. When i mean if my memory serves me correctly is because i have lots of *censored sh_t that i am dealing with in my life other than my b/f that i just don't bring here, so trust me sometimes my memory isn't that good lately, too much going on and its not an excuse its the truth. I don't have to walk on egg shells with you or anyone here i am passed that.

Believe me i have no problems telling you if i am with him or not. You might think that i am stupid or that i am wasting my time with him or you might not give a *censored sh_t at all but frankly i really don't care what people think. I know one thing, i might be doing the wrong decision but i am doing what i want to do right now, but what will happen tomorrow, i have no idea. You know lynn, believe me you are right about alot of things, sometimes i wonder if you are sitting in my living room and see everthing that is happening, you freak me out, but i have nothing to hide.

Believe me as for my kids, i want nothing but happiness for my kids and i blame myself everyday for what they go through because their mom and dad are not together and i get bombarded with questions why the other kids have one home and they don't, believe me it tears me apart. I don't know if its because they are getting older and understand more of whats going on.

I am sorry, but i am dealing with alot of other emotions and other issues in my life apart from my b/f and unfortunately i am trying to take care of everything and everyone at the same time and its driving me crazy. Sorry this came out here, but sometimes i just can't handle everything at the same time.

Love you my dearest lynn
Nikki
p.s. how do you know some much!!!!

hopeseternal · Devoted

nikki

Quote:

Believe me as for my kids, i want nothing but happeness for my kids and i blame myself everyday for what they go through because their mom and dad are not together

it's like you took the words right out of my heart. i feel the same way.

Quote:

i am trying to take care of everything and everyone at the same time and its driving me crazy.

as women, and especially as Moms; i think we are all guilty at some point or another of thinking we are Wonder Woman in disguise and able to fix everything. we forget ourselves in the process and this is why we drive ourselves crazy! step back and let things go with the flow.... you don't need to take care of anyone except yourself and your sons. i have the same problem, i want to be the one in charge of everything, but have realized (not all that long ago) that i am not in control of anything except myself -- my thoughts, actions and reactions. please take care of yourself and your sons. you seem like a wonderful Mom and a strong woman! peace and love!

nikki · Devoted

Dear hopeseternal

Thank you for your response. Trust me i don't wish it on my worst enemy to be a single mom and have to deal with ex's and other issues. I know that i can't control anything but myself, but its seems hard sometimes to just stop and relax. You think that after going on vacation for 2 weeks you come back new and refreshed.........i don't know what happened to me.

Nikki

Jenni · Helping Hand I

I'm not making a comparison. I'm just letting Nikki know that I can empathize and that what she is doing...which is none of my business really...is just following her heart...and I can relate to that.

Wishing you the best Nikki, hope your life calms down and you find some peace.

Thanks for your prayers Lynn. They are still needed and appreciated.