At the age of 13 experimented with pot at 15 I was shooting meth. At 16 diagnosed with OCD, at 21 starting smoking crack; at 21 also diagnosed with ADHD (at a rehab) at 42 diagnosed with Bipolar (still smoking crack I'm now 44) Been through all the horrors of mental illness and addiction. I am on Ritalin for adhd, Abilify for mood disorder and Wellbutrin for depression. For the last two years my crack consumption has gone from almost everyday, big money, all the losses associated with the lifestyle to now doing it only 1-2x per week, having money in the bank, keeping a job and have a wonderful relationship (he does not use - and my use is not an issue with him)So am I an abuser?, a crackhead? Does the occassional use of crack impede the effectiveness of my meds?
lifeonmars
If you have question of putting label, and you are not concern about your well being -- you are living on Mars.
By the way, how is the Internet connection there?
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Does the occassional use of crack impede the effectiveness of my meds?
I don't know any "occasional" use of crack, 1-2 per week is not occasional use. Yes it does affect effectiveness of you medications. However, it should be no worry to you, you shoot meth at age of 15, even before it made first appearance in US.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
Last edited by Admin on Jan 28, 2007 - 06:19 PM; edited 1 time in total
lifeonmars
If you have question of putting label, and you are not concern about your well being -- you are living on Mars. Yes it does affect effectiveness of you medications. However, it should be no worry to you, you shoot meth at age of 15, even before it made first appearance in US.
You seem to have only interperted the fact I am interested in a label, and make light of the fact that since I shot "crank at 15" I should not worry about how crack affects my meds" this time in my life. You clearly missed that I did ask about my wellbeing. As a site manager with numerous degrees, what personal life experiences have you had with drug addiction? Your response was arrogant and belittleing. As this was my first post to this website I can only appreciate there are other members.
Does the occassional use of crack impede the effectiveness of my meds?
lifeonmars,
if you haven't figured out, after twenty-three years of smoking crack,while at the same time being diagnosed with this and that and being prescribed meds, (which a physician, should not or would not prescribe) given a regular intake of crack, then your title, "lifeonmars" is quite appropriate and why wouldn't you not expect the answer you got.
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You clearly missed that I did ask about my wellbeing.
i myself, find it interesting that this would be a concern to you now. what's changed?
really at 44, you should know the answer to that. most people, regardless of there age, know that smoking crack or doing cocaine in any form it is not good for them and especially on top of prescribed meds.
are you seriously going to have any of us believe that you don't know this?
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and my use is not an issue with him)
yes, that certainly is a wonderful relationship. he enables you then in your addiction. great support there.
You ask if you are an abuser, IMO YES, anytime you consume chemicals that put you at risk, knowing of the risk and continue to use, whether you have money in the bank and whether, or not you have someone that accepts this as being a part of YOU in a relationship does not matter, abuse is abuse.
Considering the risk that you take ranging from 1 -2 times per week, I also would not consider this occassional use.
Considering trying to not use for a stated period of time, different from what you are accustomed to using ... can you ? and for how long? ... if you find your self using, the term crackhead should not bother you as much as trying to justify that fact that you use period... if you take an honest look ... you will no doubt be looking straight into the face of ADDICTION.
Have you shared with your Doctor that fact that you use crack in combination with the medication that he perscribes to you on a regular basis? Have you asked him the same questions that you have presented here?
Consider that although your crack use has decreased, you are still putting yourself at risk by continued use, just because your partner does not take issue with your using, does not mean that it is ok to continue using.
Please be open to the response that Gene has given you and consider that he was most likely trying to get you to open your eyes to your abuse of chemicals that are unhealthy for you, and the idea that you have been abusing subtances for the last 31 years of your life. Please consider allowing his comments to serve as an eye opener that you really should be focussing on the entire picture.
You have come to a good place for information and support, but the bottom line is that you have to be able to process the information and apply to your situation in a constructive manner that will benefit you in the end ...
I hope you will continue to read and educate yourself, so that you may get the best from the life that you have left before you ...
Wishing you Strength and Peace ...
Michelle
_________________ Positives create better results then Negatives
My use does not negatively affect, job, relationship, I pay my bills and have money in the bank. Is the use of crack an addiction in itself? Can I be a member if I don't think I am presently addicted?
One aspect is to be honest to yourself, and if you are not you can start work on it. However, if you are not honest with others, simply put it will end : either you want to play dumb, or you want to play others dumb.
I'm not in the business to earn trust from you, you should earn trust from others.
The answer on the first question I will wrap in anecdotal form for you.
Couple went to see a sexologist. So, doctor asked what the reason for visit.
Wife quickly relayed:
"My husband have a problem with early ejaculation"
Husband answered:
"I don't have problems with that, you do"
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
It appears the my minds layers of self deceivement will come off in layers. Just as they have been put on - "believe a lie and sooner or later it will become truth". Oh I feel like getting high right now. But Im not. I am being as honest as I know how for now. Maybe I can get Honesterer. I am most interested in the brain's chemical functioning ie. I take meds that inhibit and some that allow chemical responses in my brain. I dont want to use crack which will inhibit/allow something when Im taking prescribed meds trying to do the opposite. Any advice on information on brain functioning?? I would love to get this type of info. And no I dont tell my doctor about my drug abuse. Heck Im an addict and I know he would not be prescribing me meds that I could abuse.
I am most interested in the brain's chemical functioning ie. I take meds that inhibit and some that allow chemical responses in my brain.
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Any advice on information on brain functioning??
Than I strongly suggest to take psychobiology classes. Explaining this on the dilettante level would be highly unfair to you.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
And no I dont tell my doctor about my drug abuse. Heck Im an addict and I know he would not be prescribing me meds that I could abuse.
Honesty regarding your situation in it's entirety has to begin somewhere,
and informing your Doctor would be a great start, especially if you are interested in rounding out the rough edges that make your life more difficult then it may otherwise be.
It may be that your tendancy to abuse substances is what had led to your need for the medications that are currently being prescribed for you. Setting aside the fact that the combination may be hindering your mental health more then you know. Would it not be refreshing to know what life could further offer you, if you were diagnosed disclosing the true facts that would better enable a medical professional to evaluate your situation in it's true light... just tossing out ideas here, but I think it is very important once again for you to look at the entire picture regarding your health and emotional well being ...
Hopefully, you will continue you educate yourself to the point that you will begin sifting through that layers that keep you at risk on a regular basis...
Beng truthful with yourself, consider asking yourself what it truly is you want out of the life you have been gifted ... and begin from there ... I hope that you soon find the answers that you are "honestly" seeking....
Strength and Peace to you ...
Michelle
_________________ Positives create better results then Negatives
Than I strongly suggest to take psychobiology classes. Explaining this on the dilettante level would be highly unfair to you.
dilettante; a person who takes up an art, activity, or subject merely for amusement, esp. in a desultory or superficial way; dabbler.
I dont have to I have met a Clinical Psychiatrist in another Forum, (one with Dr's who don't ridicule their members) He replied to my post with ANSWERS and HELP. He is willing to take the time to help and offered me to PM him any questions I may have. We all know smoking is bad for you the health warnings are on the pack, yet millions continue to do it. I know drugs are bad for me, but I don't know the psychobiology aspects of it. And that is where my problem with CRACK exists, now. In the past I knew I had a problem It was obvious, I had to steal, starve, prostitute, etc to use. I dont have to do any of that anymore. Now Im asking for help trying to figure out if I still have a problem, in my head. Im glad you find me amusing
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
I am here for help, what is your criteria for a members reasoning for help and getting it? I guess I dont fit it. What the your being sarcastic. What I post is what Im thinking or feeling. You have made me once again shut down and not want to ask for any help for fear of ridicule, humilation, I am made to feel Im not worth your time or the members. You have helped lower my self esteem. Your comments have made this addict want to use today. Good Bye
And your comments made me not to use ever, did you see the difference?
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
I am here for help, what is your criteria for a members reasoning for help and getting it? I guess I dont fit it. What the your being sarcastic. What I post is what Im thinking or feeling. You have made me once again shut down and not want to ask for any help for fear of ridicule, humilation, I am made to feel Im not worth your time or the members. You have helped lower my self esteem. Your comments have made this addict want to use today. Good Bye
It is so typical to put blame on something or somebody. Instead you should clean up your act and became a responsible adult, who is capable of your own actions and reactions. You mention several times that you don't have problem with cocaine addiction now. You asked about interaction between your medications and crack. Your question had been answered, when you asked about brain functions, I gave you advice, if you want more information - you should read the greetings mail you received, when you joined this site. It would be unfair to you and to me to squeeze Bio1, 2, 3 + Psychology + Psychobiology in short passage.
You are willing to discuss interaction of drugs with somebody on the Internet, however you want to keep it hush from your doctor.
You wrote that you used methamphetamine at age of 15, now you 44, that makes it 29 years ago, methamphetamine makes its way to Hawaii 1980. You told me that it used to call it crank at that time. Name "crank" came up even latter than 1980 in bikers communities in Montana.
And as a matter of fact you have never asked for help.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
You wrote that you used methamphetamine at age of 15, now you 44, that makes it 29 years ago, methamphetamine makes its way to Hawaii 1980. You told me that it used to call it crank at that time. Name "crank" came up even latter than 1980 in bikers communities in Montana..
The Pagan motorcycle club made and distributed crank on the east coast in the 70's. Im sure if you were to do a search on the Philadelphia Inquirer's web page on the Pagan's you would find this information. You insinuate Im lying.
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And as a matter of fact you have never asked for help.
After reading all the visitor's stories; before I became a member, I sent a message to this site's ASK a ? under FAQ's. In this message I was asking for help, concerned that my present situation may not "qualify" for this type forum. I sent a second message asking how long does it take to get a response? Still have not gotten a reply. I would imagine this would be your responsibility. I took your cocaine quiz I would bet 99% of these test takers all got the same questions wrong regarding how chemicals affect the brain. I did. Ironically your the only one who got a 100%. But your not willing to share your knowledge, you could have easily said "take the quiz" done. 29 years of chemical abuse, my brain's biochemistry is permanently changed, part of my heart is dead, my lungs are fried, I cant see. The psychiologial damage is done, the physical damage is done. Yes this addiction has kicked my *censored ( | ), I'm only trying to save what I have left. My mind. I plan to be honest with my dr. and did not use today. How come you took out the offensive language on my post, yet I read it in others all the time?
Thank you for your post, you do care
I have met a Clinical Psychiatrist in another Forum,
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He is willing to take the time to help and offered me to PM him any questions I may have.
does this mean we are not going to see you here anymore, fighting with the administrator. that's all you've done since you got here. you never even responded to the other people who have posted to you.
haven't you figured it out yet that you've got an attitude that needs some adjusting first before you can begin to seek help from others?
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my brain's biochemistry is permanently changed, part of my heart is dead, my lungs are fried, I cant see.
that must be one h*ll of a blow to your self-esteem, because essentially you don't even qualify to possess an organ donor card.
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I know drugs are bad for me, but I don't know the psychobiology aspects of it.
why would you give a rats *ss about the psychobiological aspects of a drug you are so certain is bad for you.
tell you what, to show you i'm a nice guy, i'll give you a glass of gasoline to drink and when your done drinking it, i'll look up the psychobiological aspects of drinking gasoline for you.
you want premium or high octane?
you haven't shown any serious desire to learn anything since coming here, you're only motive so far is to set yourself up to be ridiculed.
i'd tell you to get a brain and then come back but you'd probably ruin it on the way back.
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How come you took out the offensive language on my post, yet I read it in others all the time?
probably because some of us have earned swearing rights here.
_________________ I can embrace myself, hold my own hand, love me - but, I can't gaze into my own eyes and feel my own soul lift me up.
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