Lynn longer and apparently this a a contest and evverone has taken Lynns side and that probably cause she has never posted to you what she keeps posting me, I am here to meet
This is truly an understatment,If you go and read some of our posts mine included you will find that our beloved Lynn has given us all a well needed blast,and she hasnt sugar coated it even though she loves us.
So dont think your the speacal one,
your just the one that needs it right now.
Diane...If there were Academy Awards for Cocainehelp.org postings...
You'd win hands down...How'd you get to be so smart
See Im2..Flaggin, Diane, Bill40 and myself are all addicts...just like you
There's only ONE difference between the lot of us.....HONESTY
You ARE NOT honest...now, whether or not you realize it, can be a matter of opinion
My opinion...your very well aware of it.
Diane, I Love You!
Keep on keeping my friend!
Lynn
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
And now towards the end she is attacking my character and credabiliyt saying that when i was younger the rapes never happened she said it was probably somethiing i wished would happen. Doesnt anyone but me see that remarks like that are just unacceotable.
You defend yourself and call me out on anything you'd like to,
but, you better d#mn make sure it's something I did say
Would anyone else here, mention that a mere 2 times, from their last 4 posts,
had they BEEN raped for years as a child and I told them they were full of sh!t.
Even your initial response following the post where I stated,
you were making it up or taking SOME hint of truth in it
and rearranged it to avoid the actual truth of the matter,
was only 11 sentences long, not mentioning what I stated until the 9th sentence,
I can not attack a persons character and credibility, when they don't have any
Your posts are strictly concerning my picking on you
and how honest you are, and good your recovery is going...blah blah blah
What a state you live in,
that's sends back child support payments due to the mother,
to the now grown child...
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
I will give you my opinions which are not meant to hurt you so don't take it like that. Think for a moment what it means to have an end result. You ask for an opinion and then you rationalize justification for yourself.
I have learned more and more about methadone now and I see that I gave you the thumbs up on your progress but in reality I still questioned the methadone. You stood firm that it was good without seeing that hard and drastic realization is the first step. Lynn has a way of leading you to think about it and not make excuses and what is the end result you make the choice. I had one of my family members who I thought never knew I used crack tell me straight up you need to get off your drugs already! It pissed me off, it hurt, it was powerful. What was the result of that? was it meant to hurt me? No as I later found out it made me think about what I was doing.
A person can take the simplest misfortune like breaking a leg or extreme hurt emotionally and pysically and look at them in the same ways. It is how you let these thing affect you in your present time. That is why it is best to learn from the past and let it go. Only you can do this but if you don't then bitterness and anger and self pity will ultimately ruin you and your potential.
We are all struggling here, None of us are trained therapist, Doctors . if there is please tell me so I can schedule a talk but what it really is is people who can open up and gain something or loose it. Whether it be pride, addiction, hope, stregnth,encouragement or looking at things in a different light the help is here if you open yourself up to the truth and search it out. (run on sentence)
Life is unfair, life can be cruel but it also can be blessings you make it what you want and still some things are out of our control. Once must deal with it or keep letting it be a road block and allowing a blindfold to not see the difference between what is real and what isn't. Bitterness is idle and has a way of weighing you down. Lynn makes a big impact and if you wouldn't argue but listen to the inner voice inside yourseld maybe you can change how you feel inside and what you are doing to deal with it correctly.
How do others veiw me and my choices? what can I do to work on it? Am I making excuses? Am I being honest with myself? Is what I am doing the right way or wrong way? You suffered for things done against yourself why can't you suffer for your possitive gain?
The reason I am so defensive is becuase Lynn has been rude and nasty, and hateful towards me from the get go
Again...call me out or state your case, on the truth of the matter...
This WAS the very FIRST post I left for you
keepitreal wrote:
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
My finace has been the only true support system I've had since I've been out of jail.
He has been the glue holding me together. And now all that is gone.
Allowing your addict mind to kick into high gear,
faced with stress, disappointment, anger..whatever,
is placing yourself in danger of using again.
You may like to believe that but, truth be told,
that is not the case in any way, shape or form..period.
Just as no one can make us get clean, there isn't anyone
that is the reason why we are able to *keep it together*
They may be the reason for wanting to *keep it together*,
but, they are not why, we are able to *keep it together*
Everyone needs to and should have some form or means of support.
Whether it be encouragement, compliments, reassurance,
financial, someone who will just listen, a bear hug,
hearing the words I Love You, a forum board, a mentor,...
those are just a portion of the extensions of support.
What no one needs to do or should do, is to think, let alone believe,
the reason they are able to function and survive, is because of someone else...
Then in essence, that means you are saying
your life depends on and lays in in the hands of another.
He may be gone but,
no matter how you want to look at it,
whether or not you *keep it together*,
is up to you, not because of him.
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
A stupid fight turned breakup and get out of my house. Now theres such anger and that hurts me even worse.
He is being so cold hearted and hurtful now
IMO, Those who are truly dependable and supportive in/by nature,
are calm and rational in stressful or confrontational situations
and tend to remain as such, regardless of the expected,
few and far in between, rare instances that are an exception.
Not to mention, takes care of business, first things first,
tending to their responsibilities or obligations
viewed as extremely important, and taken very seriously
Active addicts or addicts who are achieving sobriety,
yet, have not changed certain aspects or have grown
as a result of their sobriety, for the most part,
do what they do best, in stressful or confrontational situations...
provide excuses or reasons which,
minimize, disregard, or avoid the situation,
tending to become defensive, emotional and overreact
feeling that they are being unjustly attacked because,
they are an addict, whether actively or currently sober.
Not to mention, are spontaneous and irresponsible,
I want what I want, when I want it..patience is nil
Finding them self in denial, that they are in denial
With that said..
Maybe you see it as stupid, maybe it was but,
something went down that *melted your glue*,
and obviously, he must not think it was stupid.
And mind you now,
that applies ONLY IF he's all that and a bag of chips,
like you've, in so many words IMO, portrayed him to be.
Only you know the true nature of the relationship,
Only you know, the part you played in it all.
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
Now I have to drop out of school due to no ride.
Are you in a suburb or rural area,
that busing it is not an option??
Haven't you considered seeing if a classmate
is able to get you back and forth to school,
then, if they would be willing to do so.
If not...why?
Where there IS A WILL, there IS A WAY
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
My moms letting me stay tonight but tomorrow I will have to find somewhere else to go
You can't stay with your mom??
She helped you for the longest while you were using,
to the point that, she actually fed your addiction..
She will not help you now that you are sober,
and slowly piecing your life back together?
You've made great strides to *get it together*,
you need to continue, *keeping it together*,
as you have been doing
Feeling sorry for yourself and sitting on the pity potty,
will not change anything...it only feeds the addict within.
If you allow to fall apart,
all you've worked hard to rebuild,
you only have yourself to blame.
Peace & Strength,
Lynn
Here is the second post I left for you....
keepitreal wrote:
flagginthedraggin wrote:
as you seem to start a new thread just about every other day. this of course requires a fair bit of navigating around the site, if one cares to take an interest in what is going on in your life.
that might explain then, how i missed, and perhaps lynn missed as well....
I do agree and yes, you are right.
I think anyone who knows me well enough, such as yourself,
knows I will take the time to inform myself,
I read through her posts but, never thought of looking
for a blog entry that might contain info,not already touched upon in a post.
So, needless to say, I missed that as well.
I agree with Bill, you start to many threads.
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
How about you? well theres a problem there I know nothing about you.
flagginthedraggin wrote:
that's your loss then, not mine.
Again, I have to agree with Bill.
If you took the time to read through his posts,
which, I know, are quite a few, you would see,
he has no problem relating his struggles within,
furthermore, he does not sugarcoat them either.
He has many triumphs as well, though,
he tends not to place much merit in them.
Other then to acknowledge them but, chooses to
stay grounded with the reality of the power of his addiction.
So, I really feel, by you saying...
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
mostly I want to say to bill that you truly are a lost soul
was not only unfair and something I find very offensive,
knowing Bill as I do, and loving him dearly,
despite the stupidity that has kept us apart lately,
not only do I feel you owe him an apology but,
I think you should know, your sobriety only makes you,
a clean lost soul, you are an addict just the same.
Again....
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
and its apparent you want to take all the bad things you feel inside and transfer them torwards someone else to try to make yourself feel better but it wont work it will only make you more angry and hateful. I hope you can find a way to look at things more positive. Ive learned a lot from this site and from Gene and Ive been a member for less time than you have. Please try to do whatever it takes to get rid of all the hatefulness inside of you. Oh and last but not least you can read all the posts and forums you want to about me that the fact still remains you dont know me. I am far from weak and I am far from unintelligent. so try not to speak on topics you know nothing about.
Take your own advice before you go dishing it out,
to someone you don't know anything about yourself.
Now, even though I was upset at what you said to Bill,
the post I left stating such, was nothing in comparison to when I'm p!ssed..
Which, you are now well aware of.
You seem to think, I'm mad at your response to the above 2nd post
and I am still carrying a grudge about that...
YOU DON"T GET IT OR KNOW ME...
After your response, I took the time to read all your posts,
and find out more about Im2sweet4u1983...
That's what happened...
it has NOTHING to do with being pissed
and unwilling to accept your apology,
when an apology wasn't necessary anyway
Get over it already....I did that day
Stop implying that ever poster here is under my spell and command,
where their posts are based on *the groups* mutual feelings,
which they arrived at, following my lead.
They see some of the same things I do...
We've had our fair share of falling outs because of difference of opinions.
If they happen to see something, that originally they didn't,
because of something I state, it's not seen just because I say so,
it's seen because they can reasonably conclude that what I'm saying makes sense
I'm a f-ing addict for G0D sake.....I'm NOT talking out of my a$$
Don't hate the player...hate the game!
Maybe you should ask yourself.....
Why am I right and everyone else is wrong.
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
I am not here to force feed to you,
what I feel will better help you find
yourself on the road to recovery and
finding what truly works for you and
your situation... only you can truly
discover this ...
I have not been actively posting here
mostly because of my time limitations
at home and the fact that I have not
been feeling well, but had your threads
not been so difficult to follow due to the
number of them, it would have been easier
for me to do so. I am not completely sure
that I am up to speed on everything to date,
but wanted to post my opinion on several
things that I have read to this point.
So just to share my opinion on this issue,
it would be for a person to create a thread
and pretty much make that a home base for
communication, choosing a forum that best
describes your situation. In doing so you
lesson the chance of confusion, or something
that you have posted being missed, or lost in
daily shuffle of the number of post each day.
This IMO would also provide your with your
responses and postings being all in one place
with the exception of your posting on another
person’s thread . I am sure by now that you do
understand why the others have brought this
to the table as they have .... so take it for what is
and lets move forward from here.
I am not educated on the use of Methadone, so
I will not offer you an opinion on it’s use, nor will
I scold you for deciding to utilize it’s availability to
you.... However what I have noticed repeatedly, is
the concern of others that they are questioning;
the overall idea of the duration of use that has been offered to you, not being within the recommended guidelines for the drug
which lead them to questioning ....
Whether you may be using the accessibility of methadone as a substitute, or a tool for recovery.
and finally, when the effects of the methadone, no longer works, what is your plan to not substitute it with something else therefore continuing your pattern of addiction.
You do not have to validate your situation to anyone here, but if you have come here with the goal of helping yourself, you do need to honestly ask yourself what the benefits are for you and if they ARE truly effective in helping you move closer to living a substance free existence. I also feel that too many times we look for the easiest way, instead of the best way. Is your objective to promote reaching deep down to the core and promoting and embracing recovery, or prolonging it.? No need to reply to me, because my question is asked for you to simply consider in being honest with yourself...
No doubt that you as many of us here, you have many things to face and work through .... there are no quick cures that will find us in a better place simply because we want things to be different ...
I do see many things stated here in a way that I too would find accusing if that had been stated to me in that way.... and being that this is an open forum there are great differences in the way we all perceive and approach things. I personally approach things in a manner and respect that is comfortable to me and hopefully the person posting, although my polite wording may not always be effective in grabbing someone’s attention that is the approach I am most comfortable with and best suits me. Although I may not state things the way things are stated here, I see many good tools and “food for thought” in much of what is said here. I will say, take what you are able to accept and apply to your situation and leave the rest... try to keep an open mind, especially when you see that the opinions here are repeated by multiple members posting the same concerns... Not that you owe it me, or them, but because you owe it yourself to consider the points that are being placed here for your consideration.
In my opinion, arguing does not help anyone. Your focus here, should be on YOU and the tools and insights that will better help you to achieve what you want the end result to be. What works for some here, may not work for others, what drives your to seek and reach recovery, may be totally different from what promotes the willingness in another...
You are right that no one truly knows YOU, or what you have been through and in what ways that has effected you and your situation .... What is important is that you sincerely want to focus on what will help you gain a better understanding of yourself and what is necessary to get you started and keep you moving in a better direction.
I am not posting here to get into the battle of "differences in opinions " or defend YOU , or take sides with Lynn or any other other member... but I wish to post what I feel is important for your consideraltion and the reasons that you state you are here ....
nor am I going to question you on the idea that you are still here, whether or not you have found a site that suits you better, or not. ..
If you find anything here that adds to your line of defenses against your addiction and issues of the past that have caused difficulty in your life, I encourage you to keep learning and growing .... You would not be the first, nor the last person to state that they are gone and then return to being an active part of this site to continue learning and growing. What is most important is not so much how others perceive you, but how you perceive yourself...... What you learn about yourself and how you apply that to the betterment of your situation ....
I chose this quote not because Lynn wrote it, but for what is says ....
this is just an example ...
Lynn wrote:
Quote:
Everyone needs to and should have some form or means of support.
Whether it be encouragement, compliments, reassurance,
financial, someone who will just listen, a bear hug,
hearing the words I Love You, a forum board, a mentor,...
those are just a portion of the extensions of support.
What no one needs to do or should do, is to think, let alone believe,
the reason they are able to function and survive, is because of someone else...
Then in essence, that means you are saying
your life depends on and lays in in the hands of another.
He may be gone but,
no matter how you want to look at it,
whether or not you *keep it together*,
is up to you, not because of him.
"Not because of him." .... your Mother or anyone else for that matter..., the intended point here is that your recovery is dependant on YOU. Support is comforting and most definately an added plus when struggling with anything, difficult issues, whether it be abuse suffered at the hand of another, or finding yourself lost in an addiction that is destroying your hope for a healthy future....
"Don't worry about whether or not someone can walk in your shoes, but how well you walk in them." How things effect YOU and How to change what is wrong with your own situation .... staying focussed on what you wish to acheive ...
The bottom line is YOU are the only one that holds the true controls to the direction that you choose to take... whether or not you have someone there to support and encourage you, you have to want it and be willing to fight for where you truly want to end up .... not allowing the lack of
lynn's words again ....
encouragement, compliments, reassurance,
financial, someone who will just listen, a bear hug,
hearing the words I Love You, a forum board, a mentor,...
those are just a portion of the extensions of support ...
to detour or disuade you from what you truly want..... your emotional, physical and financial health, or wealth is up to YOU .... the rest is gravy ....
Wishing you Strength and Peace ...
Michelle
Last edited by pause4poetry on Feb 10, 2007 - 09:49 PM; edited 1 time in total
So dont compare me to Anna Nicole because she is/was the BIGGEST dope head in the world cause she had more money than you could imagine to buy more drugs than you can imagine.
Well, one...her initial autopsy reports came out today...
no illegal drugs were found in her system,
and they wouldn't release which prescription drugs did show up.
So, guess that doesn't make her the biggest dope fiend in the world...
I don't know WHY I'm surprised you said something like that....but, I am.
Two...Just goes to show...money can not make you happy
and drugs, of any kind, do not solve your problems, they shelve them.
As f#cked up as she was...at least she did what she had to do,
to keep a roof over her sons head and food on the table...
even though it was working as a stripper.
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
I atually read the song and liked it and got the point
I'm sure it's more like...I read the song and actually liked it..
Obviously, you don't get the point, by these statement alone...
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
but believe it or not I know my way out and I am finding it more and more everyday.
I think I am diong a damn good job so far in my recovery
PLEASE, I implore you NOT to force my hand, leaving me no choice
but, to call you out on everything you've written,
by breaking down every post you've left....
It would take me a few days and at the very least,
take up 4 whole pages of a thread
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
You can think what you want to anout me Lynn, butthis is all new to me
I don't know what the h#ll your talking about...I don't think you do either sometimes
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
and if you really knew me and watched from where I came from to where I am right now then you wouldnt say the rude things you say to me.
And, if you really knew me and saw where I've been,
you wouldn't even bother flinging around your bullsh!t.
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
So yes I was reading and posting on other peoples threads
I was posting on other peoples threads that only stopped when Lynn felt like she needed to have a war of words with me and at this point I dont even read what she writes anymore
OMG... 14 posts were on 1 thread and 1 post each, on 6 different threads
out of 98 posts, you left 20 posts somewhere else...14 being on just one thread
The first *reality check* post I left for you, was on Jan. 19th.
The last post you left for someone else, was on Jan. 20th...
After Jan. 22nd, you didn't post again until Jan. 30th
Come on now, do I really need to address your remark....
I dont even read what she writes anymore
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
But the point I am trying to get across is I am not a fake
One of the biggest rules I live with in my life is I dont lie and I dont like people to lie to me either. i have nothing to lie or exaggerate about. and I dont understand why you think i do.
I spend most of my time on another site where I do post on a lot of peoples forums and they all respond to mine and its a great fellowship with NOBODY like Lynn there.
I had no one to talk to my mom and my fiance could not be unbiased when it came it came to me talking about my drug problem and at the time I didnt have a therapist.
I have to fix myself first and thats what I am trying to do
So one day I write something and Lynn shows up telling me that everything i write is a lie and I need to get myself together. I dont mind what she said because the last statement is true (but I have not lied or exaggerated)
I know what I need to do in order to get to where I WANT to be in my life and not where everyone else wants me to be.
I reallyl was raped for 3 years, I really do have a fiance and a 1/2 kt diamond ring that he gave to me, i really did lose a baby at weeks old and I dont think ill ever get over or accept that enough to totally fix myself.
Telling everyone i lied nput havimg a boyfriend?
I dont need any "tough love" or "wake up calls" from this website I have a family at home that have that area undercontrol.
Now, of course, I could go on and on and on and on and on and on......
That's too bad there's no one like me at this new site you go to,
but, if ya tell me the site, we can change all that
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
I think you can find a better less negative way of conveying you opinions and advice to me. I would really appreciate it
I would really appreciate it then, if you would cut the bullsh!t,
which insults my addict intelligence, so I can do that for you.
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
I fired back and then everyone hated me,
Im not sure why you want everyone to hate me
NO ONE HATES YOU....START LOOKING AT YOU INSTEAD OF BLAMING ME
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
if you knew me you would like me. I am one of the most caring, loving, wonderful, nice, and giving person upi will ever meet and I guarantee im not over exagerating at all. One of the biggest rules I live with in my life is I dont lie and I dont like people to lie to me either. i have nothing to lie or exaggerate about.
You can't even Keep it real...cause first, you need to GET REAL
Jesus Saves
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
i have nothing to lie or exaggerate about.
and I dont understand why you think i do.
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
Posted: Feb 09, 2007
When I came to this site (and still now) I was confused, mad, and and angry and I needed so badly to vent. I had no one to talk to my mom and my fiance could not be unbiased when it came it came to me talking about my drug problem and at the time. I didnt have a therapist.
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
Posted: Jan 11, 2007
I have been working through all of this with my therapist and thats why I have come so far.
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
Posted: Jan 11, 2007
Throughout the past year I have been seeing a therapist and a psychistrist
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
Posted: Jan 11, 2007
I cant talk to my family about it due to the fact that they will get angry and that would not help me at all so i decided that this would be the best place to get some feedback without any anger or fighting.
I will bring it up to my therapist at my next appointment it will do me some good
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
Posted: Feb 09, 2007
When I came to this site (and still now) I was confused, mad, and and angry and I needed so badly to vent. I had no one to talk to my mom and my fiance could not be unbiased when it came it came to me talking about my drug problem
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
Posted: Jan 11, 2007
I havent talked about this to anyone in my family not even my fiance.
I cant talk to my family about it due to the fact that
they will get angry and that would not help me at all
Im2sweet4u1983 wrote:
Posted: Feb 10, 2007
i have nothing to lie or exaggerate about.
and I dont understand why you think i do.
Sh!t, for the life of me...I don't know why either
_________________ If you can not stand for something, you will fall for everything
I see that if I was to come here and still have an addiction that I wouldn't completely be 100% an ideal person and not that that I am now even at that. The occasional lie (white lie) is still a lie. I now there will always be disagreements but I think here at this site patience and understanding and help should be with a careful hand. I am not picking sides either or trying to cause arguments but everyone Iam2 has said she is confused that was the truth. No one is perfect or able to meet complete self eva;uation overnight it takes work and time.
I hope we all can work on this a bit more because if my sister was to read that people aren't going to accept her as she is then she would have trouble with that and not come here and that can go for any addict. I see there is benefits to being harsh sometimes but some people are very sensitive and that approach is purposeless. I love all of you as a team of people uniting for one cause frendship and love and respect. I don't think any of us should be in quarells but that is life so what I am trying to say each of us should try to avoid saying extremely hurtful things.
Iam2 you have said them, Lynn I have said them, Lynn you have said them *censored sh_t who hasn't ???? everyone has said them maybe not here but to someone, sometime. I just wish that the both of you here will let it go. If we were Lord then we would be perfecr since he has forgiven us with his death we should also love one another as he has loved us.
We all have issues to work on and I am not one to judge or condemn or point the finger who is wrong and who is right but help with picking up the peices is what I am good at. I have seen things many times and with a different light. When we find the right source of light we can see what is right, wrong, good, bad different, fun, sad and thus are the emotion sometimes not real but real to each of us.
I have to say that I agree with what Steve has posted above.... Not every one comes here wrapped in a pretty little package adorned with their thoughts meticulously in an order of perfection ...
Although they may want to sort out the mess that they have found themselves in they truly do not have a clear and precise manner on how to do so .... , I see this forum questioning things that we truly have no reason to question .... Whether or not she was abused, or to what degree, does she have a fiance'? What is the purpose?
The use of Methadone, a BIG DEAL .... ok ... she has received the opinions here, let her go with it ... she will make the discoveries on her own and may, or may not come back with a clearer picture of what has been stated her .... , so she may not ... the choice is hers ...she is the one that will live with the results of her actions ...
Consider being in a crowded room and still feeling alone ... it isn't pleasant, but it is a place that many of us may someday find ourselves in, if we have not already ...
I know there were times when I needed help the most, that I could not even tell you what day it was, let alone what I had done 2 hours before.
So whether or not IAM2 talked to her family about certain issues, or did not to me is trivial .... the hope that she will face her problems with her family is what we should help her to work up to ... not condemn her for the idea that she hasn't, or has to a degree, but not totally ... Although we can encourage change, we can not demand it , or force feed it to another .... it is upto the person seeking change within themself to do so ...
If she in not being truthful with herself, she is the one that must face her demons ... When she is ready and willing for change, she will see the light and the importance of truth .... it is not our battle ....
I posted as I did above in hopes to bring this thread back to what should truly matter here ... and to let Im2 know that the end results are up to her. I do not need to know every fine detail of her life to know that she is struggling. Everyone feels a need to be accepted and understood, but not everyone has the skills to communicate and share openly about things that they may be accustomed to holding inside ...
Humiliation is not the answer .... Making accusations, when we have no way of kowing for certain is not the answer.
We can talk about Jesus ... so let me ask .... WWJD? "what would Jesus Do?"
I am not here to judge anyone, but am more then happy to share what I feel may be helpful ....
I am asking for a clean slate on this thread ... allowing this site to continue to be a resource for those that come here with the want to do better, but may not necessarily know how to begin .... offer them the tools to search inside themselves and find the direction that they wish to go ...., realizing that is up to them ... eventually, hopefully with time, they will see and embrace what they did not see before, making the necessary adjustments to continue forward in a positive direction....
No one can stop Im2 from making the wrong choice, but we can provide her with ideas to consider .... There is a place where our input begins and ends .... the rest is up to her ...
Strength and Peace ...
Michelle
_________________ Positives create better results then Negatives
offer them the tools to search inside themselves and find the direction that they wish to go ....,
i agree with that, michelle.
i also think that lynn and i are also the two most direct and confrontational addicts on the site. it's very difficult for either of us to sit here and listen to story after story, full of points that contradict and make no sense.
a good point that i will present is this. in 1988 i was paroled out of prison, into a half way house. i believe i was there for four months. one of the major factors for being accepted into this house was the mandatory attending of a.a. meetings. if you failed to attend as required, your parole would be revoked and you'd be sent back to prison.
i never went to a single meeting. i convinced everyone, that i had a better method to deal with my addiction. i broke curfew, i don't know how many times. i took a few unescorted, out of town, weekend passes, that were not o.k.'d by the proper procedure.
altho the half way house was run by the united church of canada, i was able to use their facilities to print off 1500 copies of a magazine, that i and another inmate had put together. the content was entirely anti-government and anarchistic. when officials realized the content and it's destination, the 1988 anarchist survival gathering, in toronto, they cancelled my pass for that weekend. they felt the gathering was too high profile, with the high risk of violence occuring, and they did not feel they could take a chance on my attending and being arrested.
the magazine and i attended the three day event. at the end of the event, on the third day, it was announced that the u.s. had shot down the iranian air bus. what had been so far a peaceful event, suddenly turned into one of the bigger riots that toronto had witnessed on their streets.
i made my way back to the halfway house, where my full parole was rushed through as i was regarded a high risk to the house. i must have violated every rule of my parole, but was never sent back to prison. one councillor told me before i left, that i had an amazing ability to talk my way out of anything.
altho, i've had issue with lynn in the past, i've come to appreciate her tactics. part of what makes me so upfront about my addiction and usage, is knowing she is on the board, and on the ball. it does make me more accountable.
i respect your desire for a less confrontational approach to im2, however, i believe im2 needs lynn to remain on her case in that capacity.
_________________ I can embrace myself, hold my own hand, love me - but, I can't gaze into my own eyes and feel my own soul lift me up.