I am 21 years old and i used since i was 18. My life was great i graduated from high school. Went straight to college.
I met a group of people that were so much fun. See i never did anything in high school i concentrated on my studies. My sister (who is actually my cousin) used since she was 13, she is using again i dont know where she is. Anyways i started using cocaine from thursday to sunday. Then i had classes from monday to thursday. I had a huge sum of money from a trust fund that my parents gave me, also gave me an extra $1000 a month to go to school. So i had alot of money to spare, i snorted alot of coke. It took me about 2 months then i just completely stopped going to class, along with all my friends. but I still thought everything was ok, i was having so much. Until i was 20 i started using crack. Thats when i hit rock bottom. Me and my best friends from high school were doing it all the time. My parents were still supporting me, i never had a job before, i just told my parents that i needed a break from school,They still gave me my monthly checks, which increased to $2200. I didnt sleep for about 4 days my friend just kept buying more and more i started to mentally lose it, i actually dont remember day 4 at all. I called my sister who lives in the Yukon, Canada and i moved up here right away. My boyfriend came with me. We are no longer together and he still uses heavily. The last time i used was in December 2006 when i went and visited my parents in BC. They know nothing about my problem and i will never tell them. I know i should but i can't. They are very religious and would be very harsh on me. Anyways i go to visit my parents tomorrow and i am so scared that i will use again. My best friends are crack addicts. They say that they are fine but they use everyday. They still maintain having a job and vechicles. But i know if im around them i will use. And i asked them not use around me, but just being with them will tempt me so bad..I am sure thats all i will think about when i am with them. I am lucky that i now have a very supportive boyfriend, he has never used any substance, well he does drink but not very much. I dont think he has ever even been drunk. He doesnt really understand what it is like to crave drugs. Because he told me just not to think about it and not do it.
This is my first post, so im kind of rambling.
But i will be there for two weeks i will use this site as my support system, So please help. Maybe some tips on what i should say to my friends about their problem, because my friend kate is really bad into smoking crack, she thinks that she doesnt have a problem. Shes the runner, so she gets it for free, so theres no money issue for her. i would really appreciate some advice on helping her. I want to tell her dad, but he would just kick her out of the house. Also i could tell her that i cant be friends with her anymore until she is ready to be clean but that could just anger her and then she would just shut me out of her life. Ahhhh so confused
i took a young woman into my care a few years ago. at the time she was living on the street. i was not a drug user then, but was aware that she used heroin. our relationship was like that of a father/daughter relationship. i cared about her well being and would do anything to help her, short of maintaining her drug supply. she would come and go out of my life. some time passed and for reasons which had nothing to do with her, but more to the fact, my own son, i became hooked on cocaine and later crack. i met up with her again and our relationship took on a different meaning. we were now buds who hung together and used together. i drove her around while she made sales. i was driving her the night she got busted for selling. a week later i got caught in a raid by the ert squad at the building where her boyfriend run his drug business from. i seen her a few times after that and was usually feeling torn as i was wanting to clean up and she was not slowing any herself. i spent 10 1/2 months on cocaine and crack. when i finally beat that, my son was able to supply me with speed, of which i would become addicted to for another three or so months. i beat that as well and largely because my son quit as well at the same time. if it wasn't for that, son or no son, i wouldv'e had to make the choice of not being around him.
i still think of my woman friend. i still worry for her. i still hope the best for her. i still love her as though she were my own daughter. i would do anything for her in a second, if she was not using. she is a threat to me. i can't be near her or concerned with her. she doesn't look me up because as a friend she respects the fact that i am clean.
what is it you are so confused about. do you not know who your friends are? all you need to be clear about is what your priorities are. there, you will find your answers.
good luck,
bill
_________________ I can embrace myself, hold my own hand, love me - but, I can't gaze into my own eyes and feel my own soul lift me up.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
Home
Contact Us
Search
Chat Rooms
Forum
Disclaimer & Policies
Forum FAQ
Search
Usergroups
Preferences
Members List
Fun Store
Watched Topics
Sub-Forum
i dont know where she is. Anyways i started using cocaine from thursday to sunday. Then i had classes from monday to thursday. I had a huge sum of money from a trust fund that my parents gave me, also gave me an extra $1000 a month to go to school. So i had alot of money to spare, i snorted alot of coke. It took me about 2 months then i just completely stopped going to class, along with all my friends. but I still thought everything was ok, i was having so much. Until i was 20 i started using crack. Thats when i hit rock bottom. Me and my best friends from high school were doing it all the time. My parents were still supporting me, i never had a job before, i just told my parents that i needed a break from school,They still gave me my monthly checks, which increased to $2200. I didnt sleep for about 4 days my friend just kept buying more and more i started to mentally lose it, i actually dont remember day 4 at all. I called my sister who lives in the Yukon, Canada and i moved up here right away. My boyfriend came with me. We are no longer together and he still uses heavily. The last time i used was in December 2006 when i went and visited my parents in BC. They know nothing about my problem and i will never tell them. I know i should but i can't. They are very religious and would be very harsh on me. Anyways i go to visit my parents tomorrow and i am so scared that i will use again. My best friends are crack addicts. They say that they are fine but they use everyday. They still maintain having a job and vechicles. But i know if im around them i will use. And i asked them not use around me, but just being with them will tempt me so bad..I am sure thats all i will think about when i am with them. I am lucky that i now have a very supportive boyfriend, he has never used any substance, well he does drink but not very much. I dont think he has ever even been drunk. He doesnt really understand what it is like to crave drugs. Because he told me just not to think about it and not do it.
