Well I've searched thru the forum, and we all know how bad I am at finding things there, and I've been unable to find the thread with jokes to make Diane smile.
So seeing as its been quiet around here lately (are we missing a member? or 2? or 3, etc?) I decided to send Diane a joke to make her smile.
This joke was sent via text message to me today by my 12 year old niece:
How do you know when a man is going to say something intelligent?
He starts his sentence with "A woman told me ......"
That was very funny I have one to add to that one and I believe it fits very well here. Laugher is a great medicine.
WIFE FROM he|l
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP woman??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
I love this part....
"Only when he's been drinking."
What I get out of this is a woman always gets the last laugh, cause many women know just how to do that and I agree women are smart a little too smart for men's own good.
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