someone please be honest with me

deb1026 · Newbie

Im a 45 year old female, married to my best friend for the past 23 years. We have been thru it all.
It started 1 year ago, I smoked weed daily, he popped pain meds daily, more then 100 a day.
he got out of work couldnt afford to buy pills anymore and his neice walked in our home and seen him at his worst, offered him a hit off of her pipe and he said it was as if Lord reached down and took the addiction to vicodins away, hasnt touched a pill since.
Me, it took awhile before I even wanted to go there, but one day I did, it did take the weed addiction away but it brought many problems, We lost our cars, home, and most of all the love and support of our families.
I never really thought I had an addiction to crack but after reading some of the stories here, I realize I do..
I have never been in a crack house or never bought it off of the streets, he has always done that, I have asked and begged him not to buy it but when he gets off of work he has it on him, I throw the pipes,& brillo away after were done smoking, but anyone that smokes crack knows how easy it is to get another pipe or buy some more brillo.
I have called in to his work and told them of the addiction, but he has done told them if his wife calls and says something about crack its because she isnt taking her bi polar meds, dont believe her. they leave it at that, no drug tests.. nothing
I dont want it but when he brings it home I cant stand watching him smoke it and not smoke it myself, I know that doesnt make much sense but thats how I feel, I just need someone to be honest with me and tell me whats going on here, how can I tell him not to buy it but when he brings it home I smoke it with him..
When I smoke it I throw up everytime, why am I doing that?

unforgiven2 · Tenant

You are in my prayers..... tonight I have not much to offer as far as advice but before I get off this site I have to tell you something very important. The first thing you must do is to take care of yourself and by saying this I don't mean in any way turn your back but if you want to clean up and he doesn't the temptation will be hard to overcome. Talk to him about how serious you are about quitting and take care of you. Seek outside resources if you need them. I quit cold turkey but I had to move away from that environment until I was strong enough and sober. It took me a long time to get back on track with my life so plan on a hard road since you lost everything ...... I lost much too.

We all do when it comes to drugs. and it sounds like he is not ready. DON'T let that stop you because if you ever plan on helping him you are going to have to be strong enough to resist giving in with him. There are resources out there for outside help, it is there if you seek it and those tools with determination and a bit of suffering sure beat the he|l it will take you too.

Take care, come here as much as you can and the people here will coach you and help you and be a freind to you.

Steve

jynxed66 · Newbie

Hi Newbie

I am 40 years old and a recovering crack addict, as is my husband of 15 years. If you like I can give you my whole story (email me at mckenziex2ATshaw.ca). The quick version is this we as a couple used crack once or twice a year for 12 years, just the two of us for a night. Three years ago we did it two weekends in a row and then a couple weeks later and that was the end of my life as I knew it. Within about 6 months I lost my job and him a few months later and we became dealer/users and lost our daughter to social services by the end of the first year. It took me 3 months to get into treatment and another month to get my daughter back. The next 6 months I fought and failed over and over again. I finally packed up my house & family and moved away. I have been clean every since. My husband still falls approx every 3 or 4 months. The truth is if he loves you he'll quit, if he can't he's an addict as well. The best advice I can give you is this "To Thine own self be true" You must realize that crack is one of the hardest addictions to get over because it controls your mind. You will learn about it indepth in treatment. Once your on the road to recovery you need to prepare for life without him (for a while) if he choose to ignore his addiction. People may be strong enough to stay clean in dangerous enviroment but what your about to go through is tough and making it easier by eliminating all danger is being smart and proactive.

I hope this helps!

Bevworld · Newbie

Hi Sweetheart

You know it is allright for us to be honest with you, but I think you really have to be honest with yourself for this thing to work. I know I have to be every minute or I start thinking about the fantasy of smoking crack as opposed to the reality.
The reality is hard ugly and life threatening and that is what I have to remind my self of when I think one more hit might work out different than the the last one did.
For me, when my brain starts acting hijacked I have to incorporate other actions to counteract the thoughts about using. One of the main tools I have is just to not pick it up. Don't call. Don't make those eyes at my mate. Don't employ any of my tricks of the trade.
Instead I talk to myself I explain to me what's going on with my brain I remind myself that this will pass and sometimes I do this balled up on the floor. But I do it and it passes and another day goes by. Some better than others.
Try to get stabilized in your recovery by going to treatment.
Peace and Recovery to your!