WITH SOME HELP FROM FLAGGIN

flaggin · Helping Hand III

Quote:

I've really got very close with a few girls, this can be a very risky thing to do eg... two girls that
I was starting to build a close relationship with both went out yesterday and got high,
high on crack. There is also another girl who relapsed by using pills, this has been hard
for me and others is the house to deal with the 2 girls that used crack had to leave the house
thank Lord they were both able to hold there selfs together and find places in another house
some where a little more secludued I will pray for them! I cant imagine being in their
shoes, throwing it all away. I can only say I am proud they are not giving up

i remember that incident well, nichole. you had called me the same evening or the next and you had sounded quite shaken by it. i know how close you were to the one girl in particular. you held it together on the phone until eventually i said i had to go, then everything burst out of you. you started crying and were so choked and i was quite worried about you because i knew this was so close and you were still so vunerable.i was thinking you might relapse, but you didn't. you stayed strong and you kept your course. and i was very proud of you for that, as i still am today. you are doing alright, nichole.

i'd like everyone to know that, despite all the hardships, the bullsh*t, the highs and lows, the ups and downs and the broken heart that's mending, which comes with befriending and being so close to a girl, such as nichole, that it is still some amazing trip for me to watch her change and grow in her recovery. i've never had the opportunity to be so informed about a person who was dealing with their addiction so earnestly.. it is even more amazing for me, having lived and shared that lifestyle together, with her, and been right there seeing her in her worst states of behaviour, illness and lack of regard for anyone, while persuing her addiction..

as with the incident above, there has been only one other time where i have really felt that nichole was close to relapsing,, but again she held tight to her desire and willingness to live a better and more free way of life.it wasn't that long ago that nichole had been talking to me and informing me of her then plans to possibly relocate herself back here in vancouver by summers end. i remember at the time, calculating her total stay at the recovery house as roughly six months. at that time i told her of my concerns about her coming back, in what i felt was too short a time. she had told me then that she felt she needed more support than what a small town like mission was offering her and that the drugs were everywhere and that it didn't matter where she moved to, that she was prepared to deal with it.

she sounded so confident and determined to make her way back here as soon as possible and i could say nothing to influence her way of thinking otherwise. i just hoped that she knew what she was doing and wished the best for her. the second time i felt she was close to relapse, i said nothing to her. i didn't think it was nessacary, as i could see it in her face and hear it in her voice, the self realization that was showing her just how vunerable she still was.

well that was just about a month ago and it seems her plans are somewhat more grounded, as she continues to shape the outcome of her future. just last night we spoke on the phone and i reminded her of her recent intentions to take some night classes to further her education as well as working at getting her drivers license. i said to her, 'i assume then, that youll be staying up there for some time yet and not coming back here too soon', as i had ealier suspected was her plan. she then informed me again, that she can stay there for up to two years and admitted to me that she is not as strong as she thought she was and knew that it was too soon for her to be coming back. she felt that tho she thot she was ready, that in fact she knows she is not ready.

i felt a sense of relieve, along with an admiration for this person, who i know first hand, could not make good decisions for herself, not too long ago. altho, i'd always hoped for and incouraged, nichole, towards the direction she is now taking, there was always this annoying, faint, voice in the back of my head that was trying to convince me that she would not make it. i suppose now, that this was just the devil's way of taunting me into foreclosing on what i felt to be a sound investment of time, effort, heart and money in trying to help give back a life to this girl.

it's a process of change; this recovery of hers. not just change in her, but change as well in those who are close to her and love her. i see her spending more time with her family now, being the daughter, grand daughter and sister that she is. as her friend these past three years, i can honestly say, that there is a hint of peacefulness descending on all who have known her back then and are fortunate to know her still. this peacefulness pours out from, nichole, herself as she embraces the life she is so entitled to.

nichole, i'm glad that we shared what we did then, destructive as it was, for without that, we wouldn't be where you are today.

keep up the good work,

love, bill Rose

WhoIsNickyNow? · Resident

Hi everybody, it's me, Nichole. I'll be six months clean on the 13th of this month and things are really
starting to come together for me. I'll be graduating drug court in the next two or three months. I have
completed my grad plan.

I also have found out that I may be able to get hep c treatment soon. My health has not been the best these past two months or so, but the doctors are working on finding out what the problems are. Today, I make it to all my appointments, especially when it comes to my health. I try to live each day as if it were my last.

Bill and I, are getting along well these days and this makes me very happy. All my friendships are very important to me today. Bill and I finally got to go bike riding and we are working towards going camping together sometime this summer.

I plan to remain at the recovery/treatment house until such time that I get a place of my own (here in mission) or until I work out my health issues.

I am so thankful for where I am today and for all those who supported me on my way to recovery. I believe it may not have been possible without the help, when it came.

I am thanking all and yes, I am going to keep my sobriety. Very Happy

Love, Nichole

Everything happens for a reason.