what to do

scaredmom · Newbie

For the past several years my son, now 23, has abused a variety of substances, from marijuana to meth to crack and now cocaine which I hear he is injecting. He was arrested and served a year in prison for theft. He came home in December of 2006 and has basically drifted from one place to another over most of this past year. We have refused to let him come back home to live because of the endless stealing. He's been through multiple treatment programs, does well for a short period, then always seems to fall back to the old habits. He was committed to a state-run inpatient rehab facility Thursday a week ago, but was thrown out by a judge yesterday. HIPAA prevents me from being able to find out what happened. Someone from the facility brought him home. All he wanted, he said, was the car (I had been letting him drive an old car I have) so he would have a way to survive and get back and forth to work. We told him he could not stay at home. My husband and I had a huge argument about it, but I made the decision to sign the title of the car over to my son, remove the license plates, and I removed him from our insurance first thing this morning. I told him that I would pay the downpayment for his insurance but he would be on his own from that point forward and I would no longer help him when he got down and out. I gave him $10 to put gas in the car as it was almost on empty. After he left, we found he had robbed our piggybank (a large water bottle) that could easily have had $300-$400 in change in it. ALL of this really came as no surprise. What scared me is that this morning I stopped at the gas station myself to pump gas, opened my wallet and it was empty. I know there was $70 in there when I went to bed last night. We do not ever leave the house unlocked, so this means he broke into the house somehow and took the money during the night. I have not heard anything from him at all today which I'm sure is because he knows we now know what he did. At lunch today, my husband called me and said a small fire had been set behind our utility shed at some time between yesterday and this morning. He only noticed it because the water hose had been pulled out from the garden and was stretched across the grass. I think my son probably had nowhere to go and ended up sneaking back onto the property, probably built himelf a small fire to keep warm while he waited to break into the house. This particular behavior is out of character and frightening. I've been hurt, I've been mad as he|l, but I've never been actually scared he might do something to us out of desperation. In an argument with his dad last night (before I made a decision about the car) he made threats about burning down the house with his dad in it. Now I'm wondering if this wasn't meant as a message to us. Preventing another break-in is an easy fix and is being handled as we speak. Fire is another matter and I guess I'm asking for feedback on whether I should trust my initial instinct that he built a small get-warm fire (which he also put out) or report this to the police based on his comments when arguing with his dad. And, is a trespass notice even worth the trouble of pursuing?

lilbubba49 · Devoted

welcome to the site,go with your instincts and report him also see about putting a restraining order against him from comming anywhere near your home.he sounds desperate and hes a addict.please dont let your love for him judge your commen sence.He might not mean to cause you or your husband any harm buy why take the chance and regret it later.you know the old saying better to be safe than sorry.im sure lucy could have some great advice for you as she is dealing with a son around the same age.i wish you the best and again follow your instinct 99 percent of the time it will stear you in the right direcation.
Hugs Diane