Dear Cocaine:

frustr8ed · Resident

Dear Cocaine,
I used to look forward to you
and how you would invigorate me;
you made me feel invincible.
No one could stop us, I thought.
You were my little secret,
And no one else needed to know.
Nothing compared to you –
My friends, my art, my garden…
Even chocolate.
I would gladly chose you first.
You seduced me, won me
and then turned on me.
I don’t even know when it changed.
But it did.
I still anticipate the time
when we will be together again,
but when you finally come around,
it isn’t the same.
Sometimes I cannot breath when you leave
and I hate both of us;
swearing I will never see you again.
My throat closes up and I can’t speak.
I am torn in places no one can see.
I feel a burning but it isn’t desire.
I don’t want to see anyone
or do anything.
I can’t tell them what I’ve done.
I am ashamed of you.
I hurt from the inside out.
In the end, you left me empty.
You are dragging me down
like a weight on my back
And I am falling.
Falling out of love with you.
I am falling hard
toward rock bottom.
And when I climb back up
I will leave you there.

pause4poetry · Moderator

Awesome Poem ...

Thanks for sharing !

Wishing you Strength and Peace, Rose

Michelle

frustr8ed · Resident

Thanks, Michelle! Here's to that upward climb!

monsterparty · Newbie

you are very, very strong for opening up and sharing that.
thank you.
stay strong.
Smile

candleinahurricane · Newbie

Thank you for posting your poem it really helps to get a look into what the addicts thought process may be. What you wrote helps me to understand what my husband is telling me.

I so want to understand the whys to his addiction. Your words like invigorate, invincible, secret, turned on me, ashamed, empty. These are all words he has used to explain it to me.