Married to an addict 27 yrs and it never changes

cookie · Newbie

I have been married 27 yrs. First my husband used an needle but within the last 2 yrs started smoking crack. He has been in and out of jail all through our relationship, although never for drugs. It's always the same old story, he goes to jail, cleans up, promises me things will be different (and they are for about a yr) and for some reason goes right back to the coke. We owned 2 houses and lost them both; fixed up our credit only for him to ruin it again; our children have lived a life of he|l. Just a few days ago we had to leave our 2nd house b/c he is out of work, can't get work (construction) and any money he does get he uses to get high. Now we are staying with his father. All I can say is that I've been stupid for staying with him all these years thinking things would get better. The emotional damage that is caused by living with an addict is beyond belief. I am just as sick as he is because I can't seem to stay away. The sight of him makes me sick but I'm still here. Sick isn't it.

keepitreal · Helping Hand IV

cookie wrote:

I am just as sick as he is because I can't seem to stay away.

Yeah, I agree.

cookie wrote:

The sight of him makes me sick but I'm still here.
Sick isn't it.

Yes it is!

mercedez151 · Newbie

cookie wrote:

The emotional damage that is caused by living with an addict is beyond belief. I am just as sick as he is because I can't seem to stay away. The sight of him makes me sick but I'm still here. Sick isn't it.

wow 27 years see my boyfriend has been using coke for 10 years and when i met him i told him he had to stop or we couldnt be together so he stayed clean for a month but slipped up and i threated him with leaving if i ever found out well needless to say he messed up again and has been using for two months behind my back smilling in nmy face like everything is fine i am too like you completely disgusted by him i am carrying his son i have kicked him out of our room he is on the couch because the only picture i have in my mind is him in our bathroom snorting powder....i have only been with him for a year now and i am afraid that he will go down hill from here and it could turn into ur situation so i feel for u and others liek us

Asadwife · Resident

Wow--twenty seven years. I cannot imagine. I have been married to my husband for ten years and kicked him out this week. I CANNOT TAKE IT ANY MORE.

I totally understand when you say that you cannot stay away because I told my husband last week I feel as addicted to him as he is to the crack/cocaine. At times it feels as though my whole life is consumed with managing our lives. In all of this I have totally lost myself. I look in the mirror and say who the heck is that person. So many of my dreams are unrealized and in this situation I am going no where. And when I look to the future I see very little hope for us--and for normalcy and happiness.

I feel like I am at the fork in the road. I can either let him continue to try to survive my walking on my back or I can break free. I am choosing me. Guiltily (is that a word?) but still choosing me.