I'm a User...

Strim_Kid · Newbie

I've been using for 20 yrs. It's time to stop! When I was young I spent my rent money on Crack and had to move. Since I've learned to manage better. For the most part my use has been once or twice a yr. I didn't use for 4 months. And now I've used 5 times since Dec. Last night I went back for more... Uh Oh. I hate it. I never wanted to use. I need to get serious about this! I always say.. that the last time. But my resolve seems to wane. I need to fix me. Then I can work on my marrige. She's very upset. Exclamation

deliciousswaggerdog · Resident

Strim_kid,
I feel your pain. I've been taking positive steps to stop smoking crack. Keep posting here and read the threads. Checkout website www.rational.org. Attend some 12 step meetings and listen, get some phone #'s, make some calls. I hate crack too. Take control of your actions, take responsibility for your actions. I've thrown out my crack pipe at least ten times and said "I never will smoke again" Well I'm on day 2 without crack. I'm serious about NOT smoking crack. I'll be going to my first NA meeting today @ noon. I wish you the best, stay strong, and take some positve actions to NOT smoke crack....You can do it!

excrackerjack · Tenant

Everyday you have a choice. You make the choice. Talk is cheap. I found that I was the one in the crack shack for months going "I hate crack... I really need help.... I'm going to get help...." That crack pipe was still in my mouth and I was still at the shack feeling like a jerk all guilty and bad about myself. G0D helps those who help themselves but he's not going to come down and take the crack pipe out of your hand and make your dealers number magically disapear from your cell phone.

It wasn't until I became WILLING to STOP and changed ONE thing EVERYTHING... people places and things that I was able to stop. I had to leave the friends behind I had to lose the numbers, I had to stop hanging around the places I knew crack "might" be. Everyday you have a choice. You can choose to change your life or not. It is a progressive addiction.

I can only tell you how it was for me. So don't jump all over me if it doesn't apply to you or it's not your way.
I'm just telling you after years of doing dope (30) what is working for me I have 13 months clean.
Welcome to this site. Keep reading and just don't use today.

Peace
Peace

:
Anastasia

Strim_Kid · Newbie

Thanks! I only know 1 guy who deals. Do you think I can tell him not to sell to me anymore? Some how this seems like a good idea. If I can't get it then I wont smoke it.

pause4poetry · Moderator

Dear Strim_kid,

Welcome !

You have found a great place for support, encouragement, and information ...Glad your here!

It is hard to say what your dealer would do? Selling drugs is no doubt his means of income. I don't see harm in asking, the true test will would be seeing if he would actually tell you, NO.

I have always felt that if an addict want to use, he will find a way. Great if your dealer would be willing to throw a stone in your path to trip you up bit, I guess it is worth a try.

Stick with this site, I think you will find the communication here, and the dedication of the other members in offering ideas and inspiration a valuable tool.

Good Luck !

Wishing you Strength and Peace,

Michelle

rick_h · 12 step Recruit

Hi Strim Kid,

There are lots of different methods to get and stay clean. It might take some time for you to find yours. In my case it took treatment then 12 step meetings to maintain my 21 months of being clean and sober. It is possible - and it is a better and much simpler life - I really don't miss my old lifestyle and my life now is full, where before I always felt empty inside.

Take time to read stories, other posts. Ask qurestion when you struggle - you don't need to do this alone.

Strim_Kid · Newbie

I always am strongly motivated shortly after I've messed up. Almost felt like a panic attack today. I wish I could get some support from my wife. At this point I don't blame her for being more... understanding. Reads "sympathetic". I just want to do good in life and get / keep my stuff together. I feel really uneasy and anxious sometimes. Work is providing good deal of pressure for me right at this time. Feel really really creepy.

Strim_Kid · Newbie

How should I expect the people close to me to react?

pause4poetry · Moderator

I can tell you to find that you have someone you love and deeply care about is suffering from addicting is heartbreaking. It is difficult for us to understand why anyone would be willing to surrender themselves to addiction, and risk anything and everything that they have managed to gain in life thus far.

It is even more difficult to digest that your loved one's addiction, and the choices that he/she makes directly effects and stands to put at risk all that we also have worked hard to achieve. Consider that the relationship itself becomes plagued with loss of trust, honesty, dependability,healthy communication, financial security, and often the loss of shared assets, etc
.
It certainly is serious as well as it can be devastating. So many times it is not until the addict's addiction has seriously damaged the relationship before they realize just how far into disaster their addiction has carried them.

There is nothing easy about addiction, it hurts everyone ...

Strength and Peace,

Michelle