I feeel so lost and so guily. Why am I doing this? Why did I start using again, and now that I'm pregnant, ugh. How am I suppose to do all of this? I want a kid so bad, but I can't. I'm not ready. I'm not in a good place. Someone help, please. What should I dooooo. Abortion?! I dont know if I can go through with that, ugh. What in the world do I do. I can't do coke and have a baby. but I'm not sure I can do it if I stop. ugh.
Ultimately its you that needs to make this decision. It is possible to stop - the key is asking for (and taking) help. NA and AA got me clean and kept me clean for the past 21 months. Guilt, lost, lonely, tired, self hateful, sick, angry, hatred and FEAR - these are all emotions that used to consume me. Today they are only occasional feelings with no teeth.
It all starts with a decision, and it sounds like you want to stop - otherwise you wouldn't be here. You have to take that first step though. You can have a better life.
There are other options other than NA AA - but I'll let others here talk about them as I know nothing about them.
No matter what decision you will make about the baby: cocaine use should be out of question. Are you still in college? I am sure your college has different resources to help young women with pregnancy, also you may consider professional help with your cocaine/ different drug use. Also you should consider the choice that you are need to make will include at least two persons: you and your baby, and may include tree persons: you, your baby, and father of your baby.
_________________ Your Admin, Gene. -=People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. =-
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