Users Opinion transfered from the old guest book.
Hello,
My name is Susan and I am a cocaine addict. I have been clean for 23 days. I had been using for about 10 years, first socially then any day that was pay day. Over the past 3 or 4 years, my habbit got worst. I lied, stole, lost my job, almost my marriage and 3 weeks ago, my husband got feed up and I went to mom's. I had hid this from my family cause of what I was afraid of what it would do to her. My dad died from Alchol and I knew it would break her heart.
This is my first weekend home and it was very hard, knowing that the bar is at the corner and it was very easy if I wanted to get a bag. I almost talked myself into maybe just a little 20 bag instead of a 16th like usual, but I didn't. It is still hard, being around her. I now know that I have about 3 real friends. The rest are still using so I stay away from them and since I am in recovery, they stay away from me, hopefully they are looking at themselves cause they did it as much as meet and they are looking at how their lives are becoming. Last night I got a phone call from one of my friends I have known since highschool. He said he just got out of rehab and really couldn't hang out with me anymore, to his suprise, I told him that I am currenly in an outpatient program and now we are going to go to meeting together and I have a friend who is in the same boat and we have eachother.
Since I am new to recovery, I just this weekend found a home group of great people and got some temp sponsors and am looking for a long term sponsor. I know I need one.
The things I want in live that is just to live a normal life, rent a movie on Friday nights instead of going to the bar. Also, save some the the money I spent and buy a nice house somewhere. I know that that won't save my problem because it is everywhere, but it my make it alittle easier. My husband is going to the family sessions and is very supportive, but I know I have to do this for myself.
Thanks for listening to me ramble and good luck to everyone else and I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Susan
Added: Friday, December 19, 2003
Reviewer: Susan
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Hits: 1049
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